Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year




HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE OUT THERE!!


Inshallah the new year will be full of wonderful surprises for everyone..

W I hope that you change to the better and acheive all your goals..

Now about that :P What are your new year resolutions?

Personally, I don't really remember my resolutions except in December and January..

But just the thought of being a better person counts..

In 2010..

I hope that I will be a more reasonable person

a less emotional person

I hope that I will do really well in school

and I wish that I would get over my blog addiction

I will try my best not to think about H

and I will try my very best to be a good friend for everyone

w Inshallah I will manage my time more wisely and I will post more! :P

I wish that I will be the person I want to be.. the person that sometimes gets lost from all the drama and chaos

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Don't forget to share! :)

Monday, December 28, 2009

Meant to Be (part seventeen)

Just as I promised..
a post :):)
bas its extra short..
I will try to post another one soon..
bas this time 9ij no promises :P

anyways.. I have an important question..
one of the readers suggested something..
and I want to know if all of you guys agree..
then I'm going to give it a try maybe..
She suggested:
" bedal ma u write everything that happend with mohammed then everything again in shaikas way u could just write one long post and color there thoughts"
what do u thinK?

and lastly.. gabel ma tigroon il post..
I would like to dedicate it to Um 3abdallah!
Thank you for being such a wonderful and amazing friend!

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----- M7ammad

"Which seat do you want?" I asked her when the flight attendant showed us to our place.

"It doesn't matter" She replied staring at the floor.

"T7ibeen you look outside or do you feel nauseous?" I asked her, hoping for some kind of clear response.

"3adee" She replied indifferently again. Something inside me just ticked; it's something I inherited from my dad's side of the family. When things don't go the way I planned, or when I'm really frustrated, I just lose it. However, for some weird reason my reaction was way calmer than I thought it would be.

One thing that annoyed me the most was people not returning my passion. I mean I know that I didn't actually confess my love or anything, but I'm trying to be nice here. I'm offering her the seat that me and my sisters usually fight for, and she's just not giving me any importance.

"Ya3ny ana bas aby afham.. intay killa 3adee?" I said in a low voice, aiming to control my temper.

When she didn't answer, I lifted her chin and made her look me in the eye. For a couple of seconds I got lost there, in her eyes, in the depth of their emotions. They told me so many different things, and yet the most clear and vivid emotion expressed there was fear. It saddened me, how naive she was, how young her soul was, and how much she was tormented from the decision that her family took on her behalf and mine.

"Go take the seat you want." I told her as I looked away.

Quietly, she went and took the seat beside the window. She opened it and stared. I watched her reflection, and how hard she tried to control her expressions. She was strong and I admired her for that, but after all, there is only so much burden such a young heart can carry.

I searched her face again. Trying to understand her. She closed her eyes for a bit and rested her head on the seat. Don't close your eyes I almost said.

Her eyes, I thought to myself, and how much I wish that I didn't look into her eyes.


----- Shai5a

"Which seat do you want?" M7ammad asked me as we approached our seats.

I want the one beside the window, I thought to myself.

"It doesn't matter" I replied to him.

"T7ibeen you look outside or do you feel nauseous?" He asked me again.

Does he honestly think I'm a kid? Why would I feel nauseous? It's true I'm a little scared from the takeoffs and the landing, but it's nothing I can't handle on my own.

"3adee" I replied, not really in the mood to talk to him.

"Ya3ny ana bas aby afham.. intay killa 3adee?" He asked me, seeming to get impatient.

I kept quiet, not wanting him to snap at me, because I honestly didn't think that I could handle it. I continued imagining different faces and shapes painted on the floor, until he forced me to look up.

He lifted my chin, and my eyes caught his as soon as I looked up. He caught me by surprise, and I just looked into his eyes. Those eyes weren't the eyes of a mean person. In them I saw kindness, gentleness, compassion, and another thing. Something I couldn't put my finger on, it seemed like the thing they always described in movies. Love? Was it? No, it was the possibility of love that I saw. Could it be? I thought to myself as I took the seat next to the window. Or am I just imagining things now?

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Hope u enjoyed :P
and next post you will know their honeymoon ra7 ykoon wain :P

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Meant to Be (part sixteen)

This post is dedicated to all my followers
ESPECIALLY: "Roman6i8"!
Thank you for being such a sweet and dedicated follower :)
w I posted TODAY ba3ad :p
i know its a short post.. bas another one coming soon (hopefully) :P

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----- M7ammad

We left our house after saying good-bye to everyone. I kept Shaikha close to me when we walked towards my cousins because I saw Aisha eyeing her.

"Smile 3ashan t7irreenha" I whispered into her ears, chuckling.

She nervously giggled and I could see that Aisha was jealous. Grow up, I thought to myself as we passed by them quickly because we were seriously late.

Fahad, my brother, was waiting for us outside so he can drop us off. But none of the ladies came with us because the 3azeema wasn't over yet.

She walked nervously beside me as we approached the car. Fahad greeted her and they chatted for a while in the car. It was surprising for me because I usually didn't get to see her talking.

"Fahad a7na wain binroo7?" She asked him.

"Il ma6ar, ya3ny wain?" He replied sarcastically.

"La2, bas ana moo yayba jan6ity!" She replied, scared.

"La t5afeen.. ana yayeb kil shay.. intaw bas roo7aw w istansaw.. w take good care of my brother .. ma awa9eech 3alee" He told her. "Tara he has a tendency to get lost" He added, laughing.

Her face got red as she mumbled a "inshallah"

"a7na wain ra7 nroo7?" I asked Fahad.

"7amood, Shfeek inta w murtik? IL MA6AR.. The airport!" He screamed.

"NOOO!! La tista3be6.. ya3ny where are we travelling to?" I asked him, chuckling at his reaction.

I can see her eyes getting wide as she absorbed what I just said.

"You don't know where we're going to?!" She asked incredulously, but in a low voice.

"Zain kalamteeny.. walla 3abaly I'm invisible" I replied sarcastically.

Fahad shot me a glare. Walla agool 7ag umy, his eyes humorously warned. My mom wa9atny 3aleeha malyoon marra gabel la ni6la3, and I didn't want to upset her. I knew that she would probably cry if she knew that we're not get along.

" La2 I don't know where we are going.. it's a surprise.. all planned by my sisters" I replied. "So expect the unexpected" I told her as I laughed at her freaked out expression.

"The unexpected w bas?" Fahad added laughing.

After a couple of minutes, we got to the airport. Since we were late, we finished everything quickly, and we got to the airplane just a couple of minutes before it's departure.


-----Shai5a

I kissed everyone good-bye, making sure not to look them in the eye so I don't cry.
As I finished from my family, we got closer to his cousins. I saw Aisha giving me the: "I will not lose this battle" look, so I ignored her.

Thankfully, M7ammad drew mw closer to him and announced that we are really late and there is no more time for good-byes.

"Smile 3ashan t7irreenha" He whispered in my ear, as he evilly laughed.

I laughed, enjoying the fact that she was had the jealous look on her face already.

As we walked to the car, we saw Fahad waiting for us. I was really glad to see him, because I didn't want to endure another painfully silent drive with M7amad again.

"Shlonich Shai5a?" He asked me cheerfully.

"Tamam.. inta shlonik?!" I replied with a smile.

"B5eer allah ysalmich" He replied. And to both of us he said, "Yalla 3ashan ma nit2a5ar."

On our way, we chatted a bit about my brother, who happens to be one of Fahad's best friends. I felt comfortable, and I didn't even mind M7amad's presence.

"Fahad a7na wain binroo7?" I asked him wonderingly.

"Il ma6ar, ya3ny wain?" He replied in that annoying sarcastic voice.

"La2, bas ana moo yayba jan6ity!" I replied shocked.

"La t5afeen.. ana yayeb kil shay.. intaw bas roo7aw w istansaw.. w take good care of my brother .. ma awa9eech 3alee" He told me caringly. "Tara he has a tendency to get lost" He added, while laughing his head off.

I quickly pretended to be scrutinizing the road as I said inshallah, avoiding further discussion in this topic.

Fahad and M7amad had a loud conversation which I didn't really catch. But I heard the last part, and I was shocked.

"You don't know where we're going to?!" I blurted quickly.

"Zain kalamteeny.. walla 3abaly I'm invisible" M7ammad replied ironically.
I didn't reply to his comment, but I felt like just running away. I didn't want to spend my honeymoon with him. He didn't love me, he doesn't even like me, I thought to myself.

" La2 I don't know where we are going.. it's a surprise.. all planned by my sisters" He replied. "So expect the unexpected" He added laughing.

I freaked out a bit, because I knew just how creative my cousins can be. It's cute when they plan romantic things for their husbands, but it's not even funny when I'm involved.

"The unexpected w bas?" Fahad added chuckling, which didn't help my situation at all.

When we arrived at the hotel, everything was a rush. M7ammad took care of everything quickly, as I stood by admiring his efficiency in everything he does. I noticed that he was always smiling for strangers, and he treated everyone in a very respectful way, even the humble workers there. Before I knew it, we were already on the airplane as it was getting ready for departure.

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Hope you enjoyed :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Analogy

Random Post.. :)
Enjoy your break while you can everyone :):)
Special Dedications to "H"
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You know when you wake up and it's really really late at night..

everything around you is dark and still..

it's an extremely cold night..

and you didn't have enough sleep yet..

you don't want to leave your bed, and yet you have to..

because unfortunately you need to go to the bathroom :P

you delay leaving your bed as much as you can

hoping that your body will just neglect its needs for a while so you can sleep..

but after a while you realize that you HAVE to get up immediately or else (... fill in the blank ... ) :P

so you remorsefully leave your bed and finish your business in the bathroom quickly..

and on your way back you focus on one thing and one thing only.. your bed

and even though it's really dark, you find your way back without any complications..

you jump in bed quickly with a smile forming on your sleepy face..

you dive into the comfort of your warm, cozy bed..

you cover yourself up and all..

and stay awake for a while just savoring your reunion with your beloved bed..

you smile one more time just before you drift to the land where you are the princess..



That feeling, when you get back to bed..

That is how it feels when I'm in his arms.

And how I long to be in his arms.

He is my bed.. the one made just for me..

and I LOVE my bed!

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Hope you enjoyed :)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Meant to be (part fifteen)

At last..
the long awaited post :P
w inshallah another one will be coming up this weekend!
bas its short shwaya :P
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----- M7ammad

I actually enjoyed hugging her, okay maybe I got carried away with the hug but she didn't seem to mind at all.

The rest of the night went by quickly, but of course not action less.

I was chatting with my sister with my hand still around Shai5a, when my cousin, whom I don't really like, came. Her name was Aisha, and she had a crush on me from when we were teenagers but she didn't really appeal to me, and I made that clear to her several times, but I guess she is slow when it comes to these kinds of things. She flipped her hair, and shot Shai5a a look as she greeted me.

Here we go, I thought to myself, the drama queen is about to start.

"Shlonik 7amoood?" She asked in her bratty voice.

"Tamam .. intay shlonich?" I asked her, just out of politeness.

"Shai5a.. hathy bnt 5alty Aisha.. t3arfeenha 9a7?" My sister Dalal interrupted.

Just as Shai5a was about to reply, Aisha rudely interrupted her.

"Eee.. shlon ma t3arefny? Ana ily knt aby asawy awragha 7ag kuliyat il 6ib.. bas ubooha ma ri'6a .. 9a7?" She asked in an evil way.

Shai5a's face was pale for a couple of seconds, and I could feel her body stiffen.

"La2.. bas allah moo kateb..." Shai5a replied after a while, when she saw that Aisha was gazing at her, waiting for an answer.

"Ee w a9lan ma atwa8a3 7amood ra7 yir'6a murta t'6aye3 wagtha bil dirasa" She said as she winked in my direction.

Tears were starting to form in Shai5a's eyes, and I could sense that I was missing a big piece in the puzzle. I decided that I will deal with that later, as I defended her.

"Mno gal?! Ana murty tsawy ily taby.. she can pursue her dreams wherever they are and I will always follow her and support her" I said confidently.
I took most of my audience with surprise, from Aisha, to Dalal, to Shai5a, and to my mother who was apparently listening for some reason.

Aisha had a puzzled look on her face, and I knew that she will not close the subject unless she makes someone really upset, which is one of the things I hate about her. She never gives up when she is on a mission to serve the devil.

"Ahaa... well I guess your young (emphasizing that word) wife, must have given you a better perspective on life... la2ana from what I know about you, you think that women are better as domestic wives" She replied.

"whoever told you that my wife is not domestic? She bakes the best cakes in the world! Made me fall in love with her right then!" I replied, now definitely gob smacking everyone listening. "And besides I don't prefer domestic women, I like independent women with some brain tissues, so I'm guessing you don't know me well, now do you?" I replied.

"Yes I do know you... wala you forgot all the nights in the mazra3a and the chalet?" She said in an aggressively-crazy way as she gave me her back and left before I said anything else.

Again, everyone was looking at me with curious eyes, especially Shai5a. I met Dalal's gaze and she rolled her eyes because she knew that Aisha was just trying to create drama.

I looked at Shai5a but she looked away quickly.

"We need to talk" I whispered as she hesitantly nodded her head.

"Our first husband and wife talk.. how would you like that?" I continued as I kissed her cheek.

She looked at me astonished at first, but she quickly blushed and looked away. I chuckled at her reaction, and looked at my watch. After 10 minutes exactly, we will have to leave to catch our plane.


----- Shai5a

I was really comfortable while in his warm embrace, and so I decided not to talk so I don't ruin the moment. But the moment lasted for a long, and very happy while, until someone I don't really like came.

She walked with an air of confidence which I can be easily passed on to be arrogance.

I smiled in her direction, but she shot me a look in return and didn't acknowledge my existence as M7amad's wife.

"Shlonik 7amoood?" She said, trying desperately to sound feminine, but only sounding like a spoiled brat. Shtaby hathy, I thought to myself as I tried not to look at her disgustingly.

" Tamam .. intay shlonich?" M7amad replied, in a cold way.

"Shai5a.. hathy bnt 5alty Aisha.. t3arfeenha 9a7?" Asked Dalal, in a way to make Aisha realize that I'm his wife here, and she shouldn't get carried away.
How can I not know her? She is the only person who doesn't seem to welcome me from M7amad's mother's side of the family.

"Eee.. shlon ma t3arefny? Ana ily knt aby asawy awragha 7ag kuliyat il 6ib.. bas ubooha ma ri'6a .. 9a7?" Aisha replied in sarcastic way.

I felt my throat getting dry and I leaned back a bit, because I honestly didn't think that she would get that low. I mean I don't even know her. Why does she have to expose me and remind me of something I really wanted to forget? She specifically knew that it was a sensitive subject for me.

"La2.. bas allah moo kateb..." I tried my best to reply as I felt her gaze burning through me.

"Ee w a9lan ma atwa8a3 7amood (in a way she thinks is dala3 but I think is plain ugliness) ra7 yir'6a murta t'6aye3 wagtha bil dirasa" She added in a victorious tone as she winked in M7amad's direction.

What the h*ll, I thought to myself. Who is she to insult me and then wink in my husband's direction? I honestly felt like slapping her but I couldn't obviously, and so tears involuntarily started to form in my eyes.

"Mno gal?! Ana murty tsawy ily taby.. she can pursue her dreams wherever they are and I will always follow her and support her" M7amad said in such a loving way. I looked at him surprised, but he only squeezed my shoulder in response.

"Ahaa... well I guess your young (emphasizing that word) wife, must have given you a better perspective on life... la2ana from what I know about you, you think that women are better as domestic wives" She shot back, not willing to give up.

"whoever told you that my wife was not domestic? She bakes the best cakes in the world! Made me fall in love with her right then!" He replied enthusiastically as he rubbed his stomach, and to say that I was shocked from his statement was an understatement. I looked at Dalal and she had a shocked-happy-confused look on her face. "And besides I don't prefer domestic women, I like independent women with some brain tissues, so I'm guessing you don't know me well, now do you?" He concluded in a confidently victorious way.

"Yes I do know you... wala you forgot all the nights in the mazra3a and the chalet?" Aisha said as a concluding statement, and walked away. Such a coward, I thought to myself!

I didn't really care about what she said because I knew from other sources that she was delirious and she had a crush on M7amad which bothered me, a lot!
I was looking at him, trying to get some answers about what just happened by reading his face, but he caught me in the act, so I quickly busied myself with something else.

"We need to talk" He whispered into my ear, making me have goose-bumps everywhere. I nodded and looked away again.

"Our first husband and wife talk.. how would you like that?" He asked me in a low (very attractive if I may add) voice, and kissed my cheek.

He took me by surprise, so I stared at him for a while, but then blushed and looked away. He chuckled at my reaction as usual, and after a while, he told me that we have to leave to the airport.

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Hope you enjoyed :)

Friday, November 27, 2009

HAPPY EID :)



AT LAST!!
I've been waiting for this day since FOREVER!

Happy Eid to all of you :)
3eedkum Mbarak!
w ta8abal allah 6a3atkum
w kil 3am w intaw b 5eer :)
w have fun and enjoy every single moment of this day and the upsoming non-school, non-working days ! :)


Thursday, November 26, 2009

Meant to Be (Part fourteen)

Hello :)
I hope everyone did well in their exams!
W sorry for the late post :P
3eedkum Mbarak Mu8adaman :)
This post is dedicated to Um 3abdallah.. "fee the word you can't pronounce :P"
w Fa6oom.. "I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!"
w to all my friends and lovely readers :)
______________________________





----- M7ammad


I don't know why the lady's comment bothered me. Maybe because I didn't want to hear the bitter truth from another person. If only she knew that we were forced into this marriage, what would she say then?


I wanted to go to our mazra3a; I missed the place. I missed the serenity and peace there. However, I knew that I would never make it back in time if I went there.


I went to my parents' house and entered from the back door because I didn't feel like talking to anybody. I went to my room and watched TV for about an hour or two. They had "The Doctors" on and I listened to their debate about vaccines for a while, before dozing off.


I woke up startled as I looked at my watch. Sh*t, I thought to myself; I was late! I don't think I will have time to pick her up, and get to the 3azeema in time.


I ran downstairs but stopped when I heard the laughs of women; again I cursed myself for being late. I tried calling my sisters but they didn't answer. But then Mariam, my youngest sister, came with a tray in her hand. She looked mad when she saw me and motioned for me to wait until she comes.


"M7amad min 9ijik!!" She said angrily when she came back.


"Shno?!" I asked surprised.


"Laish ma ri7t 5atheet murtek? Inta tadry ina i5itha ihya ily yabatha? ya3ny lazem tfashilna min awal shay? Don't you know that you have to enter together?" She said quickly, literally fuming.


"Inzain bas 5ala9!" I told her annoyed.


"W ba3ad moo mbadel!" She screamed.


"5ala9 gilna!" I told her. "Il7een abadel w anzel!"


I went upstairs quickly, changed, and hurried downstairs. I found Dalal and Mariam waiting for me, both looked annoyed. I rolled my eyes, because I knew that they will not let this pass by. Dalal told the women that I was going to come in, so they can cover up if they needed to.


I entered and the room was packed with women wearing all sorts of color but all of them had the same eager, curious expression. I greeted all my relatives, and kissed my mom's head and I can see that she wasn't very happy.


Beside my mother, my 'wife' was sitting. She didn't even bother to glance me way. But I knew that if I ignored her my sisters will kill me, and my mother would probably be very mad.


My mom is a really sweet person; she always made sure that my brothers treated their wives with respect and love, since she sort of didn't have that kind of relationship with my father. He was almost always a cold person, and he only cared about his opinion. Therefore, my mother didn't want anyone to go through what she went through. Even though she does love my dad, their relationship just lacks equality. My father always had the upper hand, and even I didn't want to be like him in that way.


I sat beside her and smiled as I took her hand in mine.


Just seconds later, my niece, Sara, came with her camera and started taking pictures excitedly. I laughed at how serious she was, made some funny faces to get her annoyed, and then hugged Shai5a closer to me for a good picture.



----- Shai5a


After he dropped me off, I went in to find my sister and mother waiting for me. They hugged me, and I cried, which made my mother cry, and my sister follow her.


Then I went to get ready for the 3azeema. I found my bag ready for the honeymoon which I was dreading. So, I basically sat, waiting for M7ammad to come.


My sister and mom finished getting ready for the 3azeema also, and M7ammad still hasn't shown up.


"Diggay 3alee" My mother told me, while adjusting her brooch.


"No way" I replied.


" Shai5a bala dala3.. he's your husband.. ya3ny you shouldn't have any formalities between you..

il mafroo'6 ma tisti7een minna" Said my sister.


"In case you didn't notice, this is not a typical marriage. Besides I don't even have his number" I said coolly.


My mother and sister exchanged looks, and they decided to take me with them to the 3azeema even thought I should really enter with my husband.


We went there and the place was packed with women, half of them were family, and the other half, I didn't even recognize, but had to greet anyways.


When I came in, I noticed some of my cousins' faces change.


"Shai5a .. wain M7ammad?" asked me all of my sisters-in-law; and to all of them I replied saying that I had no idea really.


My mother-in-law who is an exceptionally sweet woman, hugged me and told me that

M7ammad will change once he really knows me. She seemed embarrassed that he didn't come and get me; I kissed her head and assured her that everything is alright and that he probably forgot about the whole thing.


I sat for a while, chatting with some of my cousins, and trying to find a way to stop some of the women from staring at me.


I wasn't nervous until Dalal, my cousin and my sister-in-law, announced that M7amad was going to come in. I stared at my lap, as my cousin told me what he was doing. She kept saying who he was greeting and what he was saying, as if I really wanted to know. I felt him beside me, and I knew that he was greeting his mother.


I tried focusing on one of my younger cousins sitting across the room, so he wouldn't come next to me. However, to my surprise, my cousin who was sitting beside me disappeared suddenly, and he sat in her place. He held my hand in his, and my heart started malfunctioning as soon as he did so.


I looked the other way, and after a couple of seconds, Sara, M7amad's nephew, and a really sweet girl, came hurriedly, and started taking pictures.


I laughed at her expressions, and then at M7amad's silly faces. Sometimes, when I see him with his family, and I see the love in his eyes for them, I thank god that he is my husband. Maybe, just maybe, he isn't so bad.


Just as that thought crossed my mind, he hugged me closer to him. A myriad of different emotions went through me as my body was glued to his, and a million envious eyes watched us. If you only knew, I thought to myself, as enjoyed some of the rare moments in which he really acts like my husband.

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Hope you enjoyed !! :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Thirteen)

At last .. the story!!!!!
this is an extra- long post :)

Dedicated to my 30 followers.. sorry to keep you waiting..
and the people who comment on my blog .. thank you :)
and to all the bloggers who post daily :Pp
to all my friends who support me.. thank you..
to my bf.. I miss you..
my cousin.. I love you and J :P
and H


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----- M7ammad


I saw her sitting there in the corner with her bag beside her. She lifted her head and stared with a shocked expression on her face.


"Shno?" I asked her, amazed by her expression.


She quickly turned her head, and started rummaging through her bag. She took something out and headed to the door. I followed her.


"Wain inshallah?" I asked her, with my temper starting to flare from her strange behavior.


"Ummm.. " She stuttered as I waited for her to reply. "Aby anzel shway" she replied in an almost inaudible voice.


"Inzain ni6ray shwaya, I'll just change and come down with you" I told her. I didn't want her to go alone because the reception is probably crowded with men right now.


She stood there, with her hand on the door handle, refusing to get in the room.


" I told my sister that I would go to her now" She said.


" W wain i5tich?" I asked her.


"Bitmurny ba3ad shway" she said while biting her nails.


" W laish tmurich?" I said, now really annoyed.


"3ashan ta5ithny" She replied, on the verge of crying.


"Mala da3y.. digay 3aleeha w tell her that I will drop you off, w ba3dain tara fee 3azeema in our house before we head to the airport at night.." I told her.


"Laish? 3adee ihya tyee.." She said quickly.


"Laish ihya tyee?! Ya3ny ana moo tares 3ainich?! Wala ma ti3tarfeen iny zoojich?" I yelled at her. The thing is I can be very sympathetic, but I have a temper, which I can't control most of the time.


She started crying, and I felt guilty.


"Listen, I'm your husband now. I know we both had no hand in this, but I'm responsible for you now. If you want something, you come to me. If you need someone, I will be there, because it's my duty as your husband to provide for you" I told her trying to explain my point of view.


"It's not your duty to do anything. I am not a kid, and you are not responsible for me. I can manage on my own, thank you very much" She said, with an angry tone, which I found really cute. She was short, and you can say petite, so she didn't look scary at all.


"Jiddamy." I told her firmly, wanting to stop this conversation right now.


She didn't move, so I glared at her, pretending that I was angry, while I was just enjoying her constantly changing expressions. She went from a crying girl, to an angry one, to a stubborn one, and now to a scared one.


I held her hand an led her to the bed. "Gi3day" I ordered.


She sat down obediently. "Il7een aby ashoof shlon you go against my word. Ana gilt I am responsible for you, which means I will be responsible for you. And you will sit here until I change, ba3dain I will drop you off at your parent's house, and I will come after a couple of hours so we can go to the 3azeema."


I took my clothes and went into the extremely small dressing room which was occupied by her humongous dress. I really don't understand why it has to be so long and huge. Since there was no place for me to change, I took my clothes and went to the bathroom to change, after I checked on her. And she was in the exact same position I left her in, just like I expected.
I changed quickly, prayed, and then I was good to go. I took my bag, and went to her.


"Yalla misheena" I told her, as I took her bag.


"Mala da3ee I can carry it" She said.


"roo7ay i5thay your dress" I told her.


She went to the dressing room, and I waited, and waited..


"Umm.. M7amad.." She called me hesitantly. Awal marra tgool ismy I thought to myself. Ya3ny ashwa at least she knows my name.


"What's wrong?" I asked


"The dress.. it's too huge.." She told me.


I left the bag, and went there, only to see holding it above her head, with most of the tail still touching the floor. I couldn't see her face from the dress, but the scene was hilarious.


"Mno galich tishtireen gown hal kubur?" I asked her sarcastically.


She lowered the dress as she glared at me, then held it back up and attempted to walk. She took a step, while kicking the tail so she could move, but then she stumbled back because the fabric was still on the floor. I laughed at her, and waited for a while, just to see what she would come up with. She kept on stumbling and huffing and puffing, so I eventually took the dress from her.


"I can carry it by myself." She said, being stubborn.


"Sure you can. " I replied with a smirk, and carried on walking. The gown was a bit heavy for a piece of clothing, and it was very long.


"You are ruining the fabric!" She freaked out, and lifted the tail which dragged behind me, so it doesn't get ruined.


"Ashoofich shiltee broo7ich" I told her, while hurrying to the elevator, but unfortunately we missed it.


We got in, and an old Kuwaiti lady eyed us. Her eyes were full of question and inquiries, and her gossiping nature was urging her to talk.


"Mashallah.. intaw ma3arees?" The old lady asked.


I looked at Shai5a as she smiled and nodded to the old lady.


"Ee mashallah.. allah yhhaneekum.. ila intaw shlon ti3arraftaw 3ala ba3a'6?" She asked again.


The woman was getting on my nerves, but apparently entertained Shai5a.


"A7na 3yal 3am" She replied with a smile.


"9ij! 3ad killish ma tshabHoom ba3a'6!" The old lady said, she looked at the dress's details, and then asked again. "Min wain sharya nafnoofich?"


"Ma7al b France" Shai5a replied.


"Shisma?" The old woman asked again.


"Walla ma atThakar" Shai5a replied, and I can now sense her discomfort.


The woman looked at her, then back at me, and continued studying our features. The elevator finally arrived, so the three of us entered. However, that didn't stop the lady from asking her meaningless questions.


"Shaklich akbar minha bwayed" She told me, and I ignored her because I didn't want to say anything rude.


"Shkither farg bainkum?" She directed the question to Shaikha.


"Umm.. madry.. moo wayed.." She stuttered as she replied.


The elevator door opened and I got out immediately, with Shaikha following me. The old lady

tried to catch up with us, but I just walked faster when I sensed her behind me. We got to the car, put the dress in the back seat, the bags in the trunk, and we drove silently to her house.




----- Shai5a


I looked up to see M7amad half naked, with only a towel covering his lower body. I think I stared at him for too long, because he said something that I didn't hear. I looked away quickly, and started looking for my phone in my bag. I took it and almost ran to the door so I can ask my sister to pick me up.


"Wain inshallah?" He asked me with a hint of anger in his voice. What's wrong with him I thought to myself. One minute he's the perfect gentleman, and now he's angry at me.


" Aby anzel .." I tried to reply.


He asked me a couple of questions, which I stupidly replied at because I couldn't focus with him looking like that in front of me. I kept moving closer to the door until he shouted at me.


"Laish ihya tyee?! Ya3ny ana moo tares 3ainich?! Wala ma ti3tarfeen iny zoojich?" He literally screamed at me.


I started crying, and then he lowered his voice and started to talk to me in his soothing voice. I didn't hear what he said first, but what I heard made me angry "... it's my duty as your husband to provide for you" He said .


I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. If he didn't want me, then I don't expect me to take care of me. And just because I am younger than him, doesn't mean that I'm a kid.


"It's not your duty to do anything. I am not a kid, and you are not responsible for me. I can manage on my own, thank you very much" I replied defensively.


"Jiddamy" He said in a scary tone, while pointing to the bed. I refused to move even though I was scared to death. He gave me a look, that almost made me shiver, and he took me by the hand and lead me to the bed.


"Gi3day" He demanded, and I sat down without a word.


"Il7een aby ashoof shlon you go against my word. Ana gilt I am responsible for you, which means I will be responsible for you. And you will sit here until I change, ba3dain I will drop you off at your parent's house, and I will come after a couple of hours so we can go to the 3azeema."


I was shocked, and managed to have this awed expression on my face, even after he changed and came so we can leave. He took my bag, and I tried to insist to carry it myself. But he told me to carry my dress instead. I totally forgot about it!


I went to the dressing room, and tried my best to come up with a way to carry the humongous dress. I held it over my head, but it still swept the floor. I felt desperate, so I called him. How do

I address him? I thought to myself, and decided to just go with his name.


He came, and instead of being useful, he just made fun of me. So I glared at him and decided to carry it by myself. All my attempts failed, and finally he decided to take it from me.


"I can carry it by myself." I told him angrily.


"Sure you can.." He replied in his annoying, sarcastic tone.


He carried it, but some of the fabric was still on the ground. Freaking out, I quickly held it so it doesn't get ruined.


"You are ruining the fabric!" I told him.


"Ashoofich shiltee broo7ich" He replied, and I felt like punching him right there.


We walked to the elevator, and as we waited, an old woman, the kind who look like they gossip a lot, started a question-answer session, where she would ask and we have to answer.


I absent mindedly answered, and I felt M7amad getting more annoyed by the second. She asked me about my wedding dress, and I lied, because I didn't feel like telling her. She would probably

ask me about the designers there, the directions to the shop, and how much the dress costs, if I told her the truth.


The elevator finally arrived, and she continued her interrogation in there too.


She said something, and I could feel M7amad stiffen beside me.


This time she looked at me and asked. "Shkither farg bainkum?"


"Umm.. madry.. moo wayed.." I replied, trying to avoid the question, I looked at M7amad who looked like he will hit the woman very soon.


The elevator door opened and M7amad almost flew to the car, with me running after him. He put the things in the car, and drove in complete and uncomfortable silence to my parent's house.

As soon as I got in the house, he sped away.



________________________________

Hope you enjoyed! :)
Wish me luck with all my tests!!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Someone I can't categorize

Random post,

For you, my best friend, my savior, my adviser, my hero..

________________________________________

How many times would I tag you?!



You know you mean the world to me,
you are the first person I think about whenever I have a problem,
you are the first person who comes to my mind when something good happens,
you are the book I keep all my secrets in,
you are the shoulder I cry on,
you are my support system,
you are my opposite, and yet my equal
you balance my every move,
you remind me of the positive things in life,
your adventures are mine,
your smile makes me happy,
your problems are my load to carry until you find a solution,
your success in life makes me proud,
your words direct my life even if I rebel against them,
your beauty inside-out is authentic,
you are my rock, my air, my everything,
your existence makes this world a better place
We were unseparable..

What am I supposed to do without you?

I miss you,
I miss our quick chats,
I miss our ever-lasting conversations,
I miss our long, detailed "7ash" sessions,
I miss your silly comments on everything,
I miss the way you tried to make me feel better,
I miss the way you get annoyed at stupid things,
I miss pretending to be mad at you,
I miss our childish, wild dares,
I miss trying to make you remember things,
I miss trying to get you to study,
I miss our on-going whispers in gatherings,
I miss our crazy moments,
I miss our even crazier future planning hours,
I miss jumping up and down before I tell you something,
I miss screaming on the phone,
I miss just looking at you and knowing you understand me,
I miss saying a word and having you complete the rest of the sentence,
I miss being myself without worrying what others might say,
I miss having a best friend
I miss you


You probably won't read this but I know that you just know ...

__________________________________

My lovely followers, do you want me to continue with my story?!
wala niseetooha?! :Pp

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Superman

Trying my very best to come up with as many excuses as I can to delay studying..
and I guess this is my last resource..
I'm sorry Im not in the mood to continue with the story now..
Just a random post again..
________________________________________

Author's note:
I love superman :Pp
and Im waiting for mine :Pp..
and the title of the post has absolutely no relavance to the rest of its content :Pp



Randoms thoughts today and every other school day :S


I miss my blog ..

I wish I have time to write my story..

I hate the routinic nature of my life..

I hate the fact that i am addicted to blogs..

I hate the fact that am yearning for sleep ..

I hate the fact that I am insominiac..

I hate being a negative person..

I wish I can see the glass as half full, not half empty..

I wish I can have a clear sense of my priorities in life..

I wish I would close my eyes and turn 30 by tomorrow..

I wish I would really know what I want..

I wish I wouldn't break the promises I make for myself..

I wish I wasn't emotional..

I wish I didn't care about others..

I wish I would just stop wishing and start making things come true..

I wish all my wishes would just magically come true

____________________________________

I have to study NOW!
inshallah i will try to post the next part of the story soon

Monday, October 26, 2009

Misjudging yourself

For all of you people who think you know me..
YOu are wrong!!
I am a non-existing person!!!!!!
So don't even bother..
btw.. this is a random post..
bas inshallah by the end of this week I will post part 13 of the story!!
P.s: this post may not make any sense to you :Pp
_______________________________________


It is disappointing when you don't know how to describe yourself anymore.

I always thought that I was a rather logical and rational person.

I thought that I was capable of making the right decisions.

I thought that my first impressions where always right.

I thought that my judgment was always the wisest.

I thought that no matter what other people say, my opinion will always be right, at least for me.

I thought that I knew what I'm talking about.

But as I started to see the world more clearly, I realized that I was wrong all along.

I realized it was my pride that fogged all the traces of reality.

Everything I ever believed in, got contradicted somewhere along the way.

Ignorance was my theme for a while, but then it stopped working.

Now I'm lost somewhere in the road of discovery.

There are two paths only; a long, strenuous one which may lead me to satisfaction, and a short one that is easier but again it doesn't result in any satisfaction.

Satisfaction: the feeling I long for.

_____________________________________

TC!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Twelve - B)

Just as I promised :Pp
Another short post.. but a bit longer than the previous one!
DEDICATED TO H...
_____________________________________
Full credit for the picture goes to HKR
I hope HKR doesn't mind me borrowing one of the pictures..
It took me five minutes to realise what it is exactly! But I loved the angle!



----- M7ammad


Shfeeha hathy I thought to myself. It's like she just saw a ghost or something, I chuckled slightly at her reaction.

I waited for about half an hour, but I couldn't hear any movement inside the bathroom, and nature calls were getting more intense by the second. So I decided to check on her.

"Shai5a..." I called as I knocked the door.

I heard something crash inside, and then some muffled voices.

"Are you okay in there?" I asked her, as I tried opening the door.

"One second.." She said from inside. After a couple of seconds she opened the door slightly, and looked at me from behind the door.

"Shfeech?" I asked her.

"Wala shay." She replied quickly, but she still didn't move from behind the door.

"Shai5a.. I need to use the bathroom" I said trying to be patient with her.

"EEe.. ok.. " She said, still refusing to move.

"Look, I really need to use the bathroom, so if you don't mind just move from behind the door so I can finish my business" I told her.

"But I'm not dressed" She said, on the verge of tears.

"3ayal shitsaween sa3a bl 7amam?" I asked her in a soft voice, not wanting her to cry again.

"Niseet ayeeb my clothes with me .." She said, while looking away.

"Ok... so what do you want me to do about it?" I asked her. She remained silent and I can see the tears gradually forming in her expressive eyes. "Ok.. shoofay.. ana ra7 a6la3 min il '3urfa for two minutes, you take all the stuff you need and go to the bathroom and get dresses quickly please." I said as I turned to leave, and I stressed on the word quickly again.

I stood outside for a couple of minutes, and thank god that our room was in the corner, so no one saw me in my homeless look. I honestly look like a guy who just got kicked out by his wife I thought, as I got in the room again quickly.

I waited for about 15 minutes, and then she came out, fully dressed. She mumbled a 'sorry' and went to the closet quickly.

I rushed to the bathroom, finished my business, took a shower to calm my nerves and got out in about half an hour. I wrapped myself in a towel, and headed out to get dressed.


----- Shaikha


I sat on the edge of the tub, thinking about a way I will be able to pass by him without him seeing me. I was lost in thought, when I heard a loud knock on the door. Startled, I jumped causing the whole row of shampoos to fall. I began putting them back, when I heard him calling me.

"Are you okay in there?" He asked me. Well no I'm not, I wanted to answer but couldn't. He was trying to open the door, which freaked me out.

"One second.." I said quickly, as I secured the towel around my body. I opened the door and found him standing there; I swallowed carefully.

"Shfeech?" He asked me.

"Wala shay.." I quickly replied, not wanting him to imagine me in my current state.

He said some things about needing to use the bathroom, and I replied stupidly to all his questions and remarks. I didn't want to move from my place no matter what the situation was. He will not see me like this, I kept repeating to myself, and with each time I repeated it, I felt myself getting weaker and my tears starting to go against me.

"Ok... so what do you want me to do about it?" He asked me, and I felt that I will break down any minute. My hands were trembling, and my body was almost going to give up on me. But something made me listen to him. Maybe it was the soft tone that he tried to address me in, or maybe it was something else. "Ok.. shoofay.. ana ra7 a6la3 min il '3urfa for two minutes, you take all the stuff you need and go to the bathroom and get dresses quickly please." He said as he turned and I heard t he door close behind him.

Not believing that the stranger who didn't want to see me in the beginning was actually filling in the role of a caring and considerate husband, I stood there wide-eyed. Then I remembered that he was probably going to come in soon, so I rushed to the closet, got everything I needed and didn't need, just in case, and locked the bathroom door.

I heard the door get opened again, and my heart skipped a couple of beats. It was ignoring him when he was mean, but how will I live with the caring, considerate stranger?

I got dressed in the fastest way any woman can, cleaned the bathroom after me, and unlocked the door. I apologized quickly and went to where the closet is, in order to avoid any further conversation.

I started putting all my stuff back in my bag, and organizing them because I knew that this was our last night in the hotel. Just as I finished, I heard the bathroom door getting unlocked.

_________________________________

HOpe you enjoyed :)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Twelve - A)

short post i know..
but i will post tomorrow ba3ad inshallah!!
this post is dedicated to "um 3abdallah"!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! w je t'aime, french person ;Pp
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----- M7ammad

I woke up, blinked once, twice, then I stood up quickly. I remembered last night and looked around for Shai5a but didn't find her.

I heard the bathroom door opening, and I saw her big eyes frantically looking around. As soon as she saw me, she quickly closed the door and muttered something.


----- Shai5a

I woke up early since I wasn't a big fan of sleeping. I was felt comfortable and cozy, which is weird because I usually squirm a lot while I'm sleeping. I tried to get up but something was pinning me to the bed. My eyes started to widen as I recalled the events of last night.

I struggled to free myself from his hugging pose and quickly ran to the bathroom. What happened yesterday I thought to myself? How did I let myself sleep next to a guy I barely know?

I asked myself a million questions as I opened the shower and scrubbed my body with all my power, trying to forget how it felt to be in his arms.

After what seemed like an hour, I started to feel dizzy, so I wrapped myself in a towel and looked around searching for my bag. I realized that I didn't bring it because I rushed to the bathroom earlier, and I cursed myself a hundred times for that.

I opened the door slowly and took a peak, only to find him looking around for something, and his gaze settled on me. I quickly closed the door, thinking of a way I can spare myself anymore embarrassment.

____________________________

Hope you enjoyed!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Meant to Be (Part eleven)

Hello Lovelies!!!
I'm being a really nice and responsible blogger..
So I posted just in time!! :Pp
HOpe you like it..

**THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO:
1. my BF .. Fa6oom: I miss U!!
2. Shooga: I miss U 2!!
3. Jumjuma: just for the sake of shooga :P
4. Um 3abdallah: I love U!
5. All my lovely readers and commentors..

____________________________________




----- M7ammad

I took a quick shower, dressed and quickly opened the door hoping to just throw myself on the couch and fall asleep. However, I found her sleeping on the couch. To be honest, I was really angry because I wanted to sleep, immediately.

"I7m" I said in a loud voice as I stood in front of her. She had her face covered by the blanket so I didn't know if she was asleep or not.

"I7m" I said even louder this time. I watched as the blanket slightly shook. I thought that she was laughing at me, so I took the blanket off her with an angry expression on my face. Sleeping is one of my favorite hobbies since I was a teenager, and she was just wasting my time.

However, what I didn't expect and what I didn't prepare for was her, crying. She cupped her face in her tiny hands as she tried to stop the flowing tears. I have to admit she caught me off guard because this was never an area I am strong in. I hated seeing people sad, and especially hated children or women crying in front of me.

I stood there, contemplating on what to do as she cried her heart out in front of me. She stood up, with her teary eyes, trying to go somewhere else, where I won't be watching her I guess. She kept her gaze fixed on the ground as she weakly tried to get past me.

I don't know why I did it, but I guess that I'm not that much of the beast I claim I am. So, I held her arm and stopped her in front of me.

"Shfeech?" I asked her in a soft voice, looking somewhere else because even though I am showing signs that I care about her, but I actually don't. Besides, I don't want to get emotionally attached to her in any way.

She remained silent, but my question only triggered another flow of endless tears. Her body, seemed very fragile, and I supported her weight on my body as she shivered. I didn't know what to do so I just hugged her close to me.

I rubbed her back, and reassured her continuously that it will be okay. She seemed to get calmer after a couple of minutes. My eyes searched the room for a glass of water, and when I located the fridge, I lifted her because I didn't think that she had any energy left in her, and went to pour her a glass of water.

She slightly tugged at my shirt, and I let her stand again as I gave her some water. She kept looking at the ground with a tired expression on her face. I knew that she was probably going to get dehydrated so I lifted her chin, and smiled to her. I wiped her tears and gave her the glass of water while I went to get her some panadol tablets that I remembered leaving in my bag.

I came back with them and gave them to her, as I rubbed her back. She finished and stood there, lost.

"Tabeen tnameen?" I asked her, and she nodded slightly.

"Ta3alay.." I said as I led her by the hand to the bed. "Good night" I told her softly as I smoothed her hair and covered her with the duvet.

I remained sitting beside her in bed, waiting for her to fall asleep so that I can go to sleep myself. For some reason, I felt guilty because I didn't treat her well from the beginning. I also realized that she is a victim, just like me, with made me sympathize with her. If we are going to live the rest our lives without being miserable, we have to help each other out.

I took a glance at her, her delicate features made her look really innocent and lovable. However, it was clear that she was troubled, even in her sleep. She lips would twitch every now and then and she would toss without rest.

I held her hand and stroked it, which made her involuntarily move closer to me. I laid down on the bed and hugged her. She moved even closer and buried her head in my chest as I caressed her hair.

I closed my eyes for the first time this night and after a few seconds I was fast asleep.



----- Shai5a


As soon as I heard the bathroom's door being opened, I covered myself with the blanket to hide my tears.

I felt his presence near me which made me cry even more. I didn't want to be here, and I especially didn't want to be here with him, whom I consider a stranger.

"I7m" He repeated twice, each time with a louder voice, which caused me to flinch. He pulled the cover forcefully, from on top of me, which just made the tears increase in number.

I covered my face with my hands, and gathered all the strength left in me to get up. I tried moving, but my bleary vision just made things worst. I avoided his gaze, afraid that he will just make another sarcastic comment. However, to my surprise he didn't.

He held my hand gently and asked me what's wrong. To answer that question I had to write a novel, and still there would be many things left out. I tried to scream for help, I tried to run away, but all I could do was cry, until I could no longer stand straight.
He hugged me close to him, as I leaned on his muscular body.

I felt safe. I felt secure. I felt loved. But that was only because of hormonal rush I felt as soon as my body touched his. I knew it wouldn't last, but I didn't care as long as his presence numbed my senses for a while.

He gently lifted me off the floor, and went to the fridge to pour me a cup of water. After handing it to me and making sure I was stable enough, he went and got me some panadols. I took them, and stood there scared to make the next move.

"Tabeen tnameen?" He asked me in a gentle voice. I nodded my head in agreement, so he led me to bed, and covered me after he said "good night"

I closed my eyes, but I knew that he was still sitting beside me. I tossed and tossed, I felt like crying because I was in a state that didn't allow me to sleep, but I was also too tired to even open my eyes.

I felt his hand on mine, rubbing it in a comforting way. I moved closer to him, wanting him to be the source of my comfort, wanting him to shelter me from the misfortunes of the world.

He laid beside me and hugged me, as I moved closer to him. I hid my head in his shirt, as he played with my hair. I stayed like this for a couple of minutes, until I can hear his breathing getting steady. Guessing than he was asleep by now, I took a quick peek at his face, and then went back to my position.

As I counted his heartbeats, a strange feeling started to develop in me. Just before I could ask myself what it could be, I drifted to sleep.

_______________________________________


That's it for today :P
Hope you enjoyed !!!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Meant to Be (Part 10)

Hello!!
I know I said I will post in the weekend..
But I wasn't and still not in the mood for studying..
So I thought I would write a short post!
ENjoy!
________________________________________



----- M7ammad


As soon as the door closed, I took a quick look at my "wife" and then gave her my back. How awkward can this be I thought to myself?

I felt some movement in the room, and then I heard the sound of a door getting locked. I'm guessing she's finishing her business in the bathroom.

I looked around the room, and my gaze settled on the bed, the comfy, inviting bed. How I long to just jump onto it. But I knew that I will not sleep on this bed, because she will. So I called the reception, hoping that there is any other room available for me to stay in for the night. Since I didn't handle the reservations for the hotel, they decided to trap us both in this room. Unfortunately, all the rooms were taken, so I guess I'm going to be stuck here. I asked the guy on the phone to get me some pillows and an extra blanket because it looks like I will need them. I thought about the sleeping arrangement some more, and settled on sleeping on the couch.

I rummaged through my bag as I waited for her to finish from the bathroom so I can use it. I was getting really irritated because she has been in the bathroom for almost an hour now. Just as I was about to knock on the bathroom door, I heard the door bell.

I rushed there hoping that its one of my sisters coming to check on us. However, I was greeted by something even better: soft, fluffy pillows. I thanked the guy and prepared my bed on the couch. I laid down with my clothes but there were very uncomfortable because I was used to sleeping in, well, nothing really besides my boxers. But for this "special occasion” I did plan on wearing my pjs. I thought about changing in the room since she doesn't seem like she'll be done any time soon, but decided against it.

After about 30 more minutes, she opened the door, but strangely, she didn't get out. I went to check on her, thinking that she passed out or something, but she soon got out holding high so it doesn't touch the ground I'm guessing. However, it was still sweeping the bathroom's floor. The dress was covering her face, so she couldn't see where she was going, and so she bumped into me.

Startled she dropped the dress, and stared at me wide-eyed. Typical 18-year old I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes. I looked at her from top to bottom, and I can only say that I enjoyed the scene. She was wearing a sleeveless silk night gown that fit her just right, which was very entertaining and amusing I must say. The gown highlighted just the right parts of her body, and the color complemented her skin color. Just as I realized that I was starring at her, I scolded myself and looked in the other direction quickly.

"Il 7imdillah 3al Salama." I remarked sarcastically , as I made my way to the bathroom.



----- Shai5a


As soon as they closed the door after them, I stood there terrified of what's coming next. He took a glance in my direction then faced the other way. I took the chance to grab my bag and run into the bathroom.

I took off my huge dress and placed it aside, then I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, and all the tears that I held that night came flowing. Angrily, I splashed water on my face, once, twice, and until all the makeup was gone. Then I undid my hair, which was very exhausting since I had to take all the pins out of my hair. I wasn't in the mood to take a shower because I was really exhausted, so i decided that I will take one next morning.

I looked in my bag, which my mom prepared, for my pjs, but I didn't find anything. I held out the night gown that she put for me and cried in horror. There is no way I'm going to wear this in front of a strange man. I sat on the floor, thinking about a way to run from this situation. I looked at my watch and was shocked to see that I was in the bathroom for more than an hour.

Reluctantly, I wore my night gown since I had nothing there besides the clothes I'm going to wear for next morning and I would definitely look like a freak if I wore them. Not that I care of course, right?!

I gathered all my stuff, and arranged them in my bag again, and then I opened the door slowly, hoping that by now he will be already asleep. I held the dress up so that it doesn't get damaged and walked out. However, I bumped into something, which I hoped was a wall. The dress fell from me, only to disappoint me more by revealing that I actually bumped into his hard chest.


I looked at him petrified, and he didn't seem to care. He rolled his eyes and them started to "check me out," shamelessly may I say. I had Goosebumps all over my body from the way he was looking at me, I swallowed, hoping that all this is just a dream, but it wasn't because he seemed to snap back into reality so he looked away quickly and headed to the bathroom. But not before he throws a silly remark.

"Il 7imdillah 3al Salama" He told me in a mordant way, and he closed the bathroom door.

Tears started to form in my eyes as I took in the scene. I looked around and saw some pillows and a blanket on the couch. Thinking that he wanted me to sleep there, I laid down, trying to sleep, but in reality I was couldn't even close my eyes.

______________________________________

Hope YOu enjoyed!!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

SORRY!!


Hello!!

Shlonkum??!!

Adry iny waaaayed 6awwalt!!!

W walla 7adde sorry...

I promise, promise, promise... I will post this week..

Id3ooly ina ma ya36oony wayed HW :S

TC everyone!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

3eedkum Mbarak :**


3eedkum Mbarak..
w ayamkum klha sa3eeda Inshallah :)

w hopefully I will post Soon..

Hope You had another wonderful experience this RamadAN!!


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Nine - B)

This is my Ramadan Post!..
So I'll see u after Eid :Pp
and btw.. this is Shaikha's perspective on the wedding!
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----- Shai5a

I was feeling very nauseous from the moment they entered. I kept looking at the beautifully designed details of my dress until all the men left. When it was just my father and uncle, he came to take off my shawl, and I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't have the courage to look up. He kissed the crown of my head quickly and returned to his place.

We took pictures with our family, and I tried my best to smile and not think about the person standing next to me.

"You have to hold hands!" Yelled the photographer. I felt my heart beat faster and I had the sudden urge to scream, but I just sat there trying to ignore her. Then I saw Dalal, my cousin and M7ammad's sister, talking to him and she seemed pretty pissed, so I just continued watching the children dancing in weird ways.

I felt him move, but I didn't look in his direction. Then Dalal came to talk to me.

"Tara you two are idiots! Miskay 2eeda 3ashan n9awwir bsir3a" She said in a scary tone. I tried to say no, but she just gave me another frightening stare, which made me automatically reach for his hand.

His hands were warm and big. I thought about spending my life with this man, whom I don’t know, and shivered at the thought. However, he did something that shocked me; he started massaging my hands and rubbing them in a very comforting and loving way. I looked around, trying to find anyone that can rescue me now, but thankfully he stopped. However, he squeezed my hands in a painful way this time. I looked in his direction for the first time in my life, and he grinned as he scanned my face. I quickly looked in the other direction, with my heart beating faster than ever.

From the few seconds I spent looking at his face, I gathered that he is handsome, very handsome indeed. He was white, but had black eyes, and the contrast between them did wonders. However, his most dazzling feature is his teeth; they were simply prefect, and they beautified his smile and face.

The photographer took many random pictures, then they brought the rings. He held my hands for a while and just stared. Then his sister came and told him which finger he should put the ring on. It honestly mortified me that he didn’t even know on which finger he should put the ring! Is he that clueless?

Then it was my turn to put on his ring. I held his hands, and quickly slipped the ring in his finger. Then I placed my hands on my lap again. I think I he was laughing at me, but I didn't bother to turn in his direction.

After a little while Dalal came, carrying the chocolate fondue, which she volunteered to bring. It looked really delicious, but I was too nervous to even think about eating. She dipped the strawberry in the chocolate and handed it to him, and he immediately popped it in his mouth. I exchanged looks with her.

"M7ammad!! Lazem twakel murtik awal!" She told him quickly.

"Asif.. ma agdar.. aham shay 3ndy ba6ny w ba3dain ba6ny w ba3dain.. ba6ny" He told her seriously, but she treated him with one of her death stares, which made him regret making his statement.

She dipped another strawberry in the chocolate sauce, and gave it to him, and this time he tried brought it near my mouth. I was hesitant at first because I was afraid I would throw up if I ate anything, but surprisingly he tried to comfort me.

"Latheeeeeeth" He told me with a smile. I looked at him, shocked from his sudden cheerfulness. I took a small bit and it was delicious. "Bas!!" He exclaimed. "Kaifich… ana ra7 akamla" He told me as he ate the rest of the strawberry. I held my laugh at his carefree and humorous personality, and even though I didn't know him, I actually started to think that there is hope after all.

This time Dalal gave me the strawberry, but unfortunately, the sauce began to drip, and it reached my finger. While Dalal searched for a tissue, M7ammad took action. He held my hand and licked the chocolate from my finger all the way up to the stick. I felt my face burn at the thought of what he did, so I looked in the other direction afraid to meet his gaze. Therefore, he ate the rest of the strawberry from my hand without seeming to notice how embarrassed I was.

All my cousins started cheering for him, and asked for more action which made me furious. I tried to stare at them so that they would stop, but they only cheered more. He chuckled and talked to his sister.

The next thing that Dalal prepared is the heart-shaped pineapple. I took a deep breath, and almost ran away, but I remembered that I can't walk quickly in my dress. We held the stick together and took bites as camera flashes went crazy. He kept looking at me even after we finished, with a smirk on his face. Again, I blushed and turned my face quickly. This blushing thing is starting to get on my nerves, because I hate being embarrassed.

We stayed for a while, then my sister came and told me that we have to go. I cursed myself for not running away earlier and got up. After a few shots I started to make my way to the cake, which was in the middle. He was faster than me, and I could sense that he was getting impatient. I tried my best to walk quickly.

When I got to the cake, my sister gave me the knife and told me to lead him. He put his hands over mine, and I almost dropped the knife, but he held my hand tighter. We fed each other, and then he finished the rest of the piece of cake. So we made our way to our room, but this time, we were both slow, and neither one of us wanted to speed up.

The photographer and Dalal also came with us, so it wasn't very awkward in the beginning. She began her photo-shoot with normal poses, like standing beside each other, or him standing and me sitting. We were both fine in the beginning and we continued smiling for the camera.
However, she started to get X-rated for a bit. I stared at her with tears in my eyes; I didn’t want him to carry me. I didn't want him to hug me. I didn’t want him to put his hands on my waist. I didn’t want him to kiss me! Unfortunately, Dalal was her bossy self as usual, so with a bit of blasphemy and teasing, she managed to make us look like a perfect couple in the pictures.


After the photo-shoot, the two of them left, leaving me alone with my "husband".
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Hope you liked it..
W Inshallah I will resume the story after Ramadan!
And for all those bloggers out there..
Try not to post a lot.. because I won't read any blogs in Ramadan either..
and I don't want to have one million posts waiting for me after Eid :S
TC!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ramadan!



HEllloOOO!!


Mbarak 3aleeeekum iL ShaHar!...


W I hope everyone enjoys it like I do!


and I'm sorry to say that I will post one post during this month only :S


But I will resume my story after Eid Inshallah!!


I love you all!!!


And Have a Happy Ramadan!


TC!


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Nine - A)

This post is dedicated to my uNcle "I love you"!
and ofcourse to my lovely followers and readers :)
Sorry adry waaaayed 6awalt :S but I'm seriously busy!
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----- M7ammad

The door opened and we started walking towards the end of the ballroom, where the bride is. I fixed my eyesight on my sister and smiled when she signaled me to. She looked at me with pleading eyes. I knew what she wanted, so I looked away. She wants me to treat her like every other bride on her wedding day. But how can I?

We reached there and I stood beside her, noticing that she was short. Great, I thought to myself.
We took countless pictures, and my cousins and friends started congratulating me and leaving slowly. After a little while, all my brothers posed for a picture, and then they excused themselves, too. Lastly, I stood there with my father and uncle alone. My sister came to me and told me to remove the shawl covering her head and shoulders, and then kiss her head. I frowned, disapproving.

"Tara ana akbar minha ib 11 years" I told my sister.

"M7ammad! Just do it!" Said Dalal in her bossy voice.

"Loo a7ad thany galy chan ma saweetha" I told her as I slightly pulled her hair.

She gave me her death-stare, and left to stand next to the rest of my sisters.

I stood in front of her and took a deep breath as I started to remove the shawl. I couldn't see her face properly when she was covered, so I decided to take a quick peek at my future wife. She was staring at the floor for some reason, so again, I couldn't see her face properly; all I saw was the tip of her nose. Disappointed, I kissed her head and went back to my place.

My father and uncle took some pictures with us, then my mom and sisters came, in addition to her mom and sisters. After my father and uncle left, the photo-shoot continued; my sisters, nieces, and cousins, came to congratulate us, and took some pictures with us. Then my sister told me that it we have to take pictures alone. I was very irritated because I still don't know how she looks. I gave my sister a cold stare, and continued flashing my fake smile at the camera.

"You have to hold hands!" Shouted the photographer, with irritation clear in her voice. I smiled but ignored her.

Then my sister came and gave me a quick speech, which convinced me to hold her hands. No need to mention it because the profanity exceeds the normal limit in that little speech.

I reached out for her hand, but she didn't move. I didn’t look at her face; instead I gave my sister an angry look. So in return, my sister gave her one of her famous speeches too. However, I would like to assume that she didn’t use as much profane words.

She slowly placed her hands in mine. Her hands were small, and they were cold. She started shaking, and I assumed it was because she was cold. Involuntarily, I started rubbing her hands, but I stopped as soon as I felt her body stiffen.

I glanced towards her direction, hoping to clearly put a face to my wife. She was looking the other direction, so I squeezed her hands to get her attention, and it worked. She looked at me, with her big-doe eyes filled with questions.

She wasn't flawless, but her features appealed to me in many ways. I stared at her shamelessly, with a smirk on my face. After all, I did appreciate the fact that my future wife wasn't ugly. We took many pictures, I would randomly glance in her direction every once in a while, but she always kept her eyes fixed somewhere else.

After a little while, they brought the rings so that we can exchange them. I held the ring, and stared at her hands. I was admiring how delicate they are, while thinking: just where the hell am I supposed to put the ring? I didn't know which finger I should put it on, so I called my sister for assistance. She showed me, after cursing me of course; apparently I was stupid for not knowing these things.

Then it was her turn to put on my ring. She did it with trembling hands, and quickly placed her hands in her laps again. I chuckled slightly at how nervous she was, and continued to take in her features. After that, my sister, Dalal, brought the chocolate fondue that she worked on. It looked simply mouth-watering, which made me happy instantly.




Dalal dipped the strawberry in the chocolate and gave it to me. I automatically put it in my mouth and gave her a thumbs-up. She looked at me with a horrified expression.

"M7ammad!! Lazem twakel murtik awal!" She told me with while trying to hold in her laugh.

"Asif.. ma agdar.. aham shay 3ndy ba6ny w ba3dain ba6ny w ba3dain.. ba6ny" I told her while eyeing the fondue.

She dipped another strawberry in the delicious chocolate and then handed it to me with a glare. I knew that I wouldn't get away with it this time, so I ignored my growling stomach and turned to feed her. She looked really anxious, so I gave her a reassuring smile.

"Latheeeeeeth" I told her while licking my lips. She looked at me, surprised from my sudden mood change maybe. I brought the strawberry closer to her mouth, as she took a small bite. "Bas!!" I exclaimed. "Kaifich … ana ra7 akamla" I told her as I finished the rest of the strawberry, which earned me another glare from my sister.

My sister dipped yet another strawberry in the chocolate, but this time she handed it to her. So she tried to feed me the strawberry, but the sauce was dripping and it reached her fingertip. Therefore, I decided to make everyone's life easier and licked the sauce, starting from her fingertip to the strawberry. I finished off with a smile, and to my surprise all my cousins were cheering for me. I looked at her, but she was too busy blushing, so I ate the rest of the strawberry from her hand without complaining.

After the strawberry, came a big heart-shaped pineapple. She dipped both ends with chocolate, and ordered us to hold it together. Of course, no one can say no to the Nazi so we held it, and leaned in to from it. We were very close to each other, and I sensed that she wasn't comfortable, which made me stay there a bit longer. I stared at her with a grin, which caused her to turn her head and flush. I laughed and tried to convince my sister to give me a spoonful of the delicious chocolate syrup, but with no luck.

We stayed for a little longer than we are supposed to, then we started getting up to leave. The cake was in the middle waiting for us, and I was in a hurry to get to it, but she was very slow due to her humongous dress. I waited for her patiently, and we got there finally.

She held the knife, and I put my hands over hers, as she cut the cake. The rest was pretty typical; I fed her, she fed me, then I ate the rest of the piece alone. We found our way outside the ballroom, except this time I wasn't rushing. We went to our room, and to my horror the photographer came with us. She was also accompanied by Dalal, so unfortunately we had to do everything that she wanted. After about 30 minutes of photos, arguing, and posing, they both left; leaving me alone with me "wife".

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I'll post Shai5a's perspective on the wedding soon inshallah!
Hope you liked it!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Hatred

This post is dedicated to "H"
__________________________


I hate you.

I loathe you.

I despise you.

I abhor you.

I detest you.


I wish this was true. I wish you were my enemy, because betrayal from an enemy doesn't hurt as much as betrayal from the beloved.


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This is a Random Post.. Just because I feel very "Dark"

Inshallah I will post the next part of the story soon..

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Eight)

Sorry.. I know 6awwalt :P
But I was looking for a wedding dress :P
And its short btw.. but better than nothing :p
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----- M7ammad

I woke up this morning, with no enthusiasm at all. Today is the wedding day.

Last night I had a "bachelor's party", as my brother put it. I stayed in the duwaniya until dawn, and then returned home and tossed in bed until I slept. Surprisingly, I did wake up pretty early this morning, and therefore, I went to the mazra3a. I stayed there until about 3 and then headed back home. I sat with my brothers for a while, and then everyone went to get dressed.

By the time I finished and went down, all my brothers were waiting for me and my mother was also back with bukhoor in her hand. I kissed her head, and she turned her face to hide the tears in her eyes. I chuckled as I kissed her head again and hugged her.

"Yuma… il mafroo'6 ana ily abchee moo intay" I told her, laughing.

"7amood moo wagtik!" She said, irritated by the fact that everyone was laughing at her by now.

We left the house, and headed to my uncle's house, because the men will be there since his house was very large, and his garden fit the buffet.

I was actually enjoying my time, given that all my friends and cousins were there. Tons of pictures were taken, and jokes were being constantly shouted out. Basically, I loved it, until they told me that it was time to go to the hotel, where the women were. My smile turned into a frown, and all the horns and foolish car maneuvers that my brothers came up with didn’t cheer me up.

I stood in front of the ballroom's door, as they announced my arrival. Here we go, I thought to myself, there is no way I can delay anything this time.



----- Shai5a

I took a sleeping pill last night, as one of my friend's recommended. I woke up kind of late, so I took a shower, cried my eyes out, dressed quickly, and went to have my wedding day massage.

After my massage, we went to the hotel, because we had a room reserved there, so I can get ready for the wedding. The hair stylist came, and after that the make-up artist. My maska, or flowers, was a mixture of red roses; therefore, she applied red lipstick, and other than that my make-up was very natural. As for my hair updo, it was simple yet really elegant and it suited the shape of my face. fter I wore my dress, we stayed for a while, just talking. Just incase you are wondering, I had my best friend, my aunt, my cousin, and my mom's cousin with me.







At around 9:15, we started going there, I stood as they adjusted my dress in front of the door, and I recited all the prayers that I could remember. It was awkward at the beginning, because I didn't like a lot of people starring at me. However, as I settled down and different people came to congratulate me and take pictures with me, I actually felt happy. It was really fun, seeing everyone dance and enjoy their time; but in the end, the short hand reached 11 and the long hand reached 12… It was time for me to meet my "husband."

They covered me because all his brothers were going to come in with him, in addition to some of his and our cousins. The ballroom suddenly felt really hot, as the beginning of his entrance song began.
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Cliff Hanger??!!
I hope so.. min ziman aby asaweeha :pP
What do you think of the dress?!

Monday, August 10, 2009

How would you feel?

This post is dedicated to my favorite person in the whole wide world, my uncle, my role-model, and my savior. I love you... Allah Yraj3ik bil Salama

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HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

-If your favorite person in the whole world left without telling you.

- If your son was taken in front of your eyes, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

- If you didn't tell your husband you loved him, thinking he will be back, but he didn't come back.
- If you devoted your life to one person, but after he left, you discovered the ugly truth.

- If you discovered that the person you trusted the most, is the person whom you should be careful from.

- If you slept at night, alone in bed, not knowing where your husband is.

- If you found out that you were pregnant, the day your husband left you.

- If you loved a person with all the willpower you had, but your father refused to accept his proposal.

-If you had to choose between your son and your father.

-If you looked into your husband's eyes, and saw his love for someone else.

-If your enemy saved you, while your soul mate was too afraid to help.

- If you killed your patient, because of a silly mistake on your part.

- If you can't sleep at night, but you know that the person you are thinking of doesn't even remember your name.

-If you had to smile, even though your insides are crying.

-If you had to remind your husband three times about your birthday, and he still didn't remember it.

- If you sat all day waiting for one person to get online, and when he did, he signed in with his topic about another girl.

- If you wrote a whole book, but you still couldn't express your feelings.

** Whenever you feel down, remember that some people have problems that make yours seem insignificant. Always ask god for his assistance, whether you are happy or sad.


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I'm sorry... I know my blog is very negative these days :Pp
The next post for the story will be wedding daY!!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Depression

This post is dedicated to "H"... I wish I can get over you.
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The dark cloud of depression has found its way to me, yet again.

Every small problem seems like a catastrophe.

Everything is going downhill.

Every place holds tormenting memories.

Everyone seems distant.

Every word triggers the flow of endless tears.

Every action seems to defy what I want.

Everyday is torture.

Every minute away from you just adds on to the mountain of depression.

I need you in my life, because you are my air, my water, my food.

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Random post :S

I'll try to post the next part for the story soon.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Seven)

Dedicated to all the lovely people who comment on my blog..
Thank you and I appreciate your effort :)

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----- M7ammad

I stayed in the mazra3a for about a week; I closed my phone and didn't contact anyone. Sometimes my brothers would come to check on me, but I would ask them to just leave me alone. However, eventually, I decided to go back to the house, because I knew that I have to stop running away.

I sat with my mom for a while, and she was very upset.

"M7ammad walla 3aib! Ya3ny ana shagool 7ag ilnas lamma yis2iloon 3annik?" She asked me with a frown.

"Laish mno sa2al 3anny?" I asked her, without interest.

"3ammik si2al 3annik… w murt 3ammik daggat tgool ilyoom ihya w 3ammik w Shai5a bisafroon, 3ashan tjahiz roo7ha" She told me.

"Inzain yuma… ma a3ti8id ina I look like I care" I said with a smirk.

"Moo kaifik you don't care… hathy murtik w lazem ilyoom troo7 il ma6ar 7aghum gabel ma ysafroon" She almost screamed.

"Musta7eel" I told her coldly, and left to my room. They forced me to marry her, but they can't force me to love and care about her.


----- Shai5a

I was sick for a couple of days, and I stayed in the hospital until I got better. However, all the time, my so-called husband who is a doctor didn't come to check on me which made me start to hate him.

Then, my mother told me that we are going to travel to London and Paris so I can get all the things I need for my wedding. I really love traveling, so I decided to forget about everything and enjoy my trip. I also decided to actually participate in the wedding arrangements. Just because my knight in shining armor doesn't exist doesn't mean that I can't have my dream wedding. I started thinking about my dress and the ballroom, which was enough to make me forget about the reality for a while.


----- M7ammad

The wedding is in about one week, and I still have some things to do. Apparently, everything was sorted out when I was in the U.S. and they already built an extension to the house upstairs for me. My new apartment consisted of two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, and a small kitchen. Everything was already furnished except the bedrooms. Therefore, I went to look for furniture for these two rooms. She will sleep in the bedroom that has a bathroom, and I made it green and pink for her, like my current room; while I will sleep in the other bedroom, and I made it beige and brown like my old room. My mother doesn't know about this, and I'm sure she will freak out if she did. But honestly, I don’t want to interact with her that much.


----- Shai5a

I came back to Kuwait, and I'm spending my time getting different facial and skin treatments. I am really enjoying my time, and trying not to think about the wedding in 2 days or the fact that I still don’t know how my husband looks like.

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Hope you enjoyed :):)

Sorry no post tomorrow