Saturday, March 23, 2013

Meant to be (part 47)



Hello everyone..
Sorry adry wayed 6awalt as usual..
This is going to be the post gabel the last one..
I'm sorry if the ending is going to dissapoint some of you..
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 ----- Shai5a

 I opened my eyes slowly, hoping that my throbbing headache won't be exacerbated by the light.

I realized then that it wasn't just my head that was hurting, my whole body felt like it was on fire.

I stared at the ceiling trying to figure out where I was.

I heard a voice calling but I was too dizzy to understand what was going on around me.

"Shai5a" the voice was a bit more clear now.

"Mama.." I recognized her voice, my voice barely audible.

"7abeebti.." She said and I could hear it in her voice that she was crying.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest and forced myself to sit up shwaya so that I could see my surroundings.

I was in a hospital.

"Mama shilsalfa?" I asked dazed.

The doctor came in and started examining me; I couldn't really hear what he was saying to me.

 He gave up on trying to ask me and mumbled a few words to my dad who came in after him before he left the room.

"m7ammad.. waina?" I asked after a while, my voice croaky.

My mom and dad looked at each other, both of their eyes full of tears.

That sharp pain in my chest came back again.

"m7ammad waina?" I repeated.

 "M7ammad safar 3inda sh'3l.." My dad said in an unconvincing manner.

"laish ma galy? mita safar? w ana laish hny?" I asked

 My mom cried as she held my hand tightly.

I pulled my hand away, as all sorts of possibilities came through my mind.


















I'm staring at the ceiling as I remember that day.

My tears, which got used to their free reign by now, are flowing.

I ask myself over and over again..

Why?

Why does it hurt so much?

I open my laptop to go through our pictures as I do every night, but my flash disk doesn't work.

I feel too weak to panic.

I feel like someone took the last unshattered piece of my heart.

I feel helpless.

I try over and over again.

I try until there are no more tears.

That flash disk was the only thing I had left of him.

I feel numb.

I stare at the ceiling again.

I stare until I fall asleep for the first time in 6 months without going through every picture of us together.

Is it a sign? I ask myself

A sign to move on?

Is there such a thing as moving on?



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What do you think happened?