Meant to Be (Part Eight)

Sorry.. I know 6awwalt :P
But I was looking for a wedding dress :P
And its short btw.. but better than nothing :p
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----- M7ammad

I woke up this morning, with no enthusiasm at all. Today is the wedding day.

Last night I had a "bachelor's party", as my brother put it. I stayed in the duwaniya until dawn, and then returned home and tossed in bed until I slept. Surprisingly, I did wake up pretty early this morning, and therefore, I went to the mazra3a. I stayed there until about 3 and then headed back home. I sat with my brothers for a while, and then everyone went to get dressed.

By the time I finished and went down, all my brothers were waiting for me and my mother was also back with bukhoor in her hand. I kissed her head, and she turned her face to hide the tears in her eyes. I chuckled as I kissed her head again and hugged her.

"Yuma… il mafroo'6 ana ily abchee moo intay" I told her, laughing.

"7amood moo wagtik!" She said, irritated by the fact that everyone was laughing at her by now.

We left the house, and headed to my uncle's house, because the men will be there since his house was very large, and his garden fit the buffet.

I was actually enjoying my time, given that all my friends and cousins were there. Tons of pictures were taken, and jokes were being constantly shouted out. Basically, I loved it, until they told me that it was time to go to the hotel, where the women were. My smile turned into a frown, and all the horns and foolish car maneuvers that my brothers came up with didn’t cheer me up.

I stood in front of the ballroom's door, as they announced my arrival. Here we go, I thought to myself, there is no way I can delay anything this time.

----- Shai5a

I took a sleeping pill last night, as one of my friend's recommended. I woke up kind of late, so I took a shower, cried my eyes out, dressed quickly, and went to have my wedding day massage.

After my massage, we went to the hotel, because we had a room reserved there, so I can get ready for the wedding. The hair stylist came, and after that the make-up artist. My maska, or flowers, was a mixture of red roses; therefore, she applied red lipstick, and other than that my make-up was very natural. As for my hair updo, it was simple yet really elegant and it suited the shape of my face. fter I wore my dress, we stayed for a while, just talking. Just incase you are wondering, I had my best friend, my aunt, my cousin, and my mom's cousin with me.

At around 9:15, we started going there, I stood as they adjusted my dress in front of the door, and I recited all the prayers that I could remember. It was awkward at the beginning, because I didn't like a lot of people starring at me. However, as I settled down and different people came to congratulate me and take pictures with me, I actually felt happy. It was really fun, seeing everyone dance and enjoy their time; but in the end, the short hand reached 11 and the long hand reached 12… It was time for me to meet my "husband."

They covered me because all his brothers were going to come in with him, in addition to some of his and our cousins. The ballroom suddenly felt really hot, as the beginning of his entrance song began.

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Cliff Hanger??!!

I hope so.. min ziman aby asaweeha :pP

What do you think of the dress?!

How would you feel?

This post is dedicated to my favorite person in the whole wide world, my uncle, my role-model, and my savior. I love you... Allah Yraj3ik bil Salama

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HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

-If your favorite person in the whole world left without telling you.

- If your son was taken in front of your eyes, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

- If you didn't tell your husband you loved him, thinking he will be back, but he didn't come back.
- If you devoted your life to one person, but after he left, you discovered the ugly truth.

- If you discovered that the person you trusted the most, is the person whom you should be careful from.

- If you slept at night, alone in bed, not knowing where your husband is.

- If you found out that you were pregnant, the day your husband left you.

- If you loved a person with all the willpower you had, but your father refused to accept his proposal.

-If you had to choose between your son and your father.

-If you looked into your husband's eyes, and saw his love for someone else.

-If your enemy saved you, while your soul mate was too afraid to help.

- If you killed your patient, because of a silly mistake on your part.

- If you can't sleep at night, but you know that the person you are thinking of doesn't even remember your name.

-If you had to smile, even though your insides are crying.

-If you had to remind your husband three times about your birthday, and he still didn't remember it.

- If you sat all day waiting for one person to get online, and when he did, he signed in with his topic about another girl.

- If you wrote a whole book, but you still couldn't express your feelings.

** Whenever you feel down, remember that some people have problems that make yours seem insignificant. Always ask god for his assistance, whether you are happy or sad.

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I'm sorry... I know my blog is very negative these days :Pp
The next post for the story will be wedding daY!!!!

Depression

This post is dedicated to "H"... I wish I can get over you.
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The dark cloud of depression has found its way to me, yet again.

Every small problem seems like a catastrophe.

Everything is going downhill.

Every place holds tormenting memories.

Everyone seems distant.

Every word triggers the flow of endless tears.

Every action seems to defy what I want.

Everyday is torture.

Every minute away from you just adds on to the mountain of depression.

I need you in my life, because you are my air, my water, my food.

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Random post :S

I'll try to post the next part for the story soon.

Meant to Be (Part Seven)

Dedicated to all the lovely people who comment on my blog..

Thank you and I appreciate your effort :)

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----- M7ammad

I stayed in the mazra3a for about a week; I closed my phone and didn't contact anyone. Sometimes my brothers would come to check on me, but I would ask them to just leave me alone. However, eventually, I decided to go back to the house, because I knew that I have to stop running away.

I sat with my mom for a while, and she was very upset.

"M7ammad walla 3aib! Ya3ny ana shagool 7ag ilnas lamma yis2iloon 3annik?" She asked me with a frown.

"Laish mno sa2al 3anny?" I asked her, without interest.

"3ammik si2al 3annik… w murt 3ammik daggat tgool ilyoom ihya w 3ammik w Shai5a bisafroon, 3ashan tjahiz roo7ha" She told me.

"Inzain yuma… ma a3ti8id ina I look like I care" I said with a smirk.

"Moo kaifik you don't care… hathy murtik w lazem ilyoom troo7 il ma6ar 7aghum gabel ma ysafroon" She almost screamed.

"Musta7eel" I told her coldly, and left to my room. They forced me to marry her, but they can't force me to love and care about her.


----- Shai5a

I was sick for a couple of days, and I stayed in the hospital until I got better. However, all the time, my so-called husband who is a doctor didn't come to check on me which made me start to hate him.

Then, my mother told me that we are going to travel to London and Paris so I can get all the things I need for my wedding. I really love traveling, so I decided to forget about everything and enjoy my trip. I also decided to actually participate in the wedding arrangements. Just because my knight in shining armor doesn't exist doesn't mean that I can't have my dream wedding. I started thinking about my dress and the ballroom, which was enough to make me forget about the reality for a while.


----- M7ammad

The wedding is in about one week, and I still have some things to do. Apparently, everything was sorted out when I was in the U.S. and they already built an extension to the house upstairs for me. My new apartment consisted of two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, and a small kitchen. Everything was already furnished except the bedrooms. Therefore, I went to look for furniture for these two rooms. She will sleep in the bedroom that has a bathroom, and I made it green and pink for her, like my current room; while I will sleep in the other bedroom, and I made it beige and brown like my old room. My mother doesn't know about this, and I'm sure she will freak out if she did. But honestly, I don’t want to interact with her that much.


----- Shai5a

I came back to Kuwait, and I'm spending my time getting different facial and skin treatments. I am really enjoying my time, and trying not to think about the wedding in 2 days or the fact that I still don’t know how my husband looks like.

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Hope you enjoyed :):)

Sorry no post tomorrow

Meant to Be (Part Six)

----- M7ammad

This week passed in a blur. My sisters were very busy trying to prepare the "dazza." (For those of you who don't know what it is; it's like a box or something that the groom's family puts the dowry in for the bride). They tried to take my opinion, but I always showed indifference towards the subject. I went out with my brothers and friends a couple of times to get all the things I need for that day. Now I'm ready, aside from the fact that the sane side of me is begging me not to go through this.

The milcha is on Thursday, which is tomorrow, I thought to myself; one more day, before I enter the "cage."


----- Shai5a

Since I already went shopping countless times this month, this week wasn't very chaotic. However, it was very depressing; I cried every single day but that didn't change anything.

My milcha is tomorrow, so I'm going to spend the day in the spa to calm my nerves. Going there, I did become much calmer. I felt all the tension seep through my pores as the woman massaged me. Even though my heart was still sad, I felt a little bit better.


----- M7ammad

I went to the mazra3a and spent the night there. I thought about everything, all my dreams, all my hopes that are going to shatter tomorrow.

I always thought I will spend the rest of my life with my soul mate. I thought that I will propose to her here, in my favorite place, the mazra3a. Then we will get married and have children that resemble us. I thought that we will grow old together. I never thought that I will be forced to marry someone I don’t want. I never thought that I wouldn’t want to meet the mother of my children. I never thought that I would have to raise my wife. I know that 18 year olds are grown-ups; but I also know that the maturation differs a lot from an 18 year old to a 29 year old.

After hours of just thinking, I slept while staring at the moon that reminded me of one person only; the person that I tried my best not to think about, Manal, my ex.


----- Shai5a

I slept really early that night after taking some pain killers because I had a terrible headache. I woke up feeling really tired and cold, so I covered myself up and went to sleep again.

My mother's voice woke me up the next morning.

"Shai5a… yuma goomay il sa3a 12" My mother told me.

"Hmmm…" I replied feeling really sick.

"Goomay Shai5a!" She told me again.

"Mama ta3bana…" I whispered with tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Shfeech?" She asked me scared, as she took the covers off my face. She put her cold hand on my head which caused me to flinch.

"Eedich barda!" I cried.

"Rasich 7ar!" She exclaimed and she went quickly to call my father.

In case you are wondering, things didn't get better. I knew myself, once I get sick; it sticks and sucks all the life out of me. I started vomiting and the fever just got higher. Therefore, my father decided that the female members of the family will not come since I'm sick. However, the milcha will still be today.

Apparently, everything is official now because my brother came in and congratulated me, which only cause the pain in my heart to grow. There is no going back now.


----- M7ammad

After I woke up, I went home and had lunch because I was starving. My mom's cooking is delicious and that's one of the things I love about her. After lunch, I watched TV for a while, and then I went to get dressed.

I took a quick shower, and went down after dressing to find everyone waiting for me. My mother "yabibat" and so did my sisters. I was also met by my niece who was addicted to her camera, and she started demanding different angles so she can see the difference in my face before and after marriage. After Sara's photo-shoot session, we went to my uncle's house.

The normal marriage procedure was taken, except that the "wife" was nowhere to be found. Apparently she was sick.

"M7ammad… laish ma troo7 tshoof murtik shfeeha?" Said my uncle.

"Laish ihya moo maree'6a?" I asked him.

"Imbala.. w inta doctor… laish ma troo7 tshoofha shfeeha? W ta36eeha duwa?" He asked with a smile.

"La2 3amy ana leel7een ma ishti'3alt" I replied.

"Ee bas inta dares…" He told me.

"La2 3amy.. troo7 il 6abeeb a7san" I replied.

"3ala ra7tik…" He said, dissapointed.

After having dinner, we excused ourselves and I went to the mazra3a again because I didn’t want to see anyone.

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:)

Meant to Be (Part five)

My dedications go to .......
anyone who reads this :)
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----- M7ammad

I stayed in bed for a while, before deciding to take a shower to calm my nerves. After I got dressed my sister Dalal knocked my door, with Fahad and Mariam following her. My sisters kept on going about how she was "gorgeous" and stylish and amazing, while my brother complained about how single life sucks. In brief, I listened while they tried to convince me that marrying that girl is a good idea, and I told them that I am willing to try and work this out.

"9ij!!" Screamed Dalool enthusiastically

"Bas don't expect me to love her or just get along like all married couples do" I said.

"9adigny you will love her" Said Dalool with confidence. For a moment, I did believe her because she understands me the most from between my siblings. However, I snapped back to reality quickly when I remembered that I was 11 years older than her.

"I don’t think so" I said and they left so I can get ready for the night.


------Shai5a

I woke up around 10 this morning and went to the kitchen. I baked my famous chocolate cake and topped it with ice-cream, and prepared my favorite salad. Then my mom asked me to make a cheese cake, so I did and I decorated it with strawberries. Cooking is one of my hobbies, and I tend to forget myself when I'm cooking. Basically, by the time I finished, I was very happy and almost forgot why I was cooking in the first place.

But I'm thinking that happiness is a crime when it comes to me these days, because my mom reminded me of the engagement and asked me to get ready to go to the 9aloon. I refused, saying that it was just a waste of time and money and I can get ready alone.

I went to take a shower, and then wore the outfit that my mother chose. It was creamy-pink, knee-length dress. It had a big flower near the neck and it flowed, highlighting my slim figure. I decided to go with light, smoky grey make-up and pink lip gloss. Then my cousin came in to help me with my hair-do. She blow-dried it and styled it in a bizarre but elegant way. We finished at about eight, and we prayed together, before we started a movie waiting for my mom to call me down.

I wasn't really paying attention to the movie. Instead I was wondering how I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a guy I know nothing about. Well, aside from the fact the he is a doctor, he's my cousin, and his name is M7ammad.


----- M7ammad

The ride there was quiet, except for my brothers' lame jokes that they thought will lighten the mood. I was in my own world when my father decided to talk to me.

"Mita tabee il milcha w il 3irs M7ammad" He asked cooly.

"Ma a3ti8id rayee muhem…" I said after a while.
"3ayal il milcha il isboo3 ilyay… w il3irs 3ugub shahar" He replied with a hint of anger in his voice. I said nothing. I was too shocked to say anything.

When we arrived, we were welcomed by my uncle and my cousins. The evening went by smoothly, with my dad and uncle arranging everything with me just listening and answering questions directed to me briefly. But one of the questions shocked me for some reason.

"M7ammad … mita tabee tshoof Shai5a" He asked.

"Shno?" I asked him.

"Tabeeha tanzel il7een wala ba3dain?" He asked again.

"Laish tanzel?" I asked shocked.

"3ashan tshoofha yuba" He said with a chuckle.

"Mala da3ee 3amy" I replied quickly.

"3ala ra7tik" He said surprised by my reaction.

I noticed the food in front of me and saw the chocolate cake. I took a bite, and to say it is delicious is an understatement. I savored every single bite, since my relationship with food is a very strong one.

"3asa 3ijabik il cake" Asked my uncle.

"Latheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet" I said with a wide smile.

"Bil 3afya" He laughed. "Tadry mno msawy 3ad?" He asked me.

"Mno…" I said while I took another bite.

"Murtik…" He said with a smile.

"Murty?!" I asked surprised.

"Ee Shai5a binty… ily ihya ra7 t9eer murtik inshallah" He said as everyone laughed at my reaction.

"Aha..." Was all I managed to say. Maybe there is hope after all my stomach said happily as I took yet another bite from the mouth-watering cake.

We returned home after all the arrangements were made, and we had dinner. I went to my room after my mother lectured me on how rude it was from me to refuse to see the girl and how it was my loss.

"Yuma.. intay umy wala umha?" I asked her and went to bed, and somehow I managed to sleep almost directly.


----- Shai5a

I dozed off because I was exhausted in the middle of the movie, but my mother came and woke me up with a sad smile.

"Yalla roo7ay namay 3ala frashich yuma" She said.

"Yuma wain Reem (my cousin)" I asked her.

"Raddat il bait yuma" She replied.

"W mita lazem anzel" I asked her.

"5ala9 ra7aw … moo lazem tanzileen" She replied sadly.

"Laish?" I asked surprised. "Moo lazem atzawaj?" I asked with hope.


"La2… il milcha il isboo3 ilyay… bas uhwa ma 6ilab yshoofich" She told me and left quickly.

I'm getting married to a man who doesn't even want to see me, I thought to myself. I went to sleep without crying because I knew that I will need my tears for later on.

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Hope you liked it :p

I tried to lengthen the post as much as I can :)

Meant to Be (Part Four)

Heeeeey!!

Sorry I haven't posted for a while :p

Several dedications :

> to the newlyweds... we want action!!

>Kuwait Black market blog founders.. your blog never fails to entertain me :)

>All my beautiful readers :):)

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----- M7ammad

For about two weeks I tried avoiding my father as much as I can. I went out with the guys and had fun, trying my best to forget all my worries. I knew that eventually I will have to face him and sort thing out; however, I didn't expect it to be this soon.

I was on my way out, rushing as usual, when my father called me to his room.

"Jahhiz nafsik bacher" He simply told me.

"7ag shno" I asked.

"Bacher ra7 nroo7 na56ib bint 3ammik" He replied.

I sat there staring at him for a while, and I left the room without uttering a word. I went to our mazra3a, for it was my safe haven. I loved staying there, and I thought about staying there forever.

However, sitting there alone in the dark, I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. Even if it's with a random person, it's better than growing old alone with no one around. I knew, right then, that I might not love anyone again, because I was hurt a lot the first time, and I always raise my guard now. Maybe that girl will make me grow fond of her, and maybe we will not work out. I will do this for my family because I know that I can't stand loosing them.

I stayed there until dawn. I prayed and headed back home, and slept until noon.


----- Shai5a

For a couple of days, I felt alive again. My mom offered to take me shopping a lot, and I had a lot of fun! I brought almost an entirely new wardrobe, which is very exciting for almost every girl out there. I thought it was because I was moving on to college, but I had no idea what they were planning until I overheard my mom talking to my dad about my marriage. Of course, I went ballistic because I didn't even know the person they are planning on getting me married to. However, my opinion didn't matter again. Apparently, my dad didn't want me to study medicine, so I can get married.

I now know that my husband is my cousin who I don't even know. His mom and sisters came yesterday to officially ask for my hand in marriage, and the men will come tomorrow to sort things out.

HE will come tomorrow, and I have to be ready to see the stranger who is my husband. I refused and cried, I don’t even know him, and I don’t want to spend any time with him. However, I knew that I will have to see him eventually. So, I just sat there silently as my mother prepared an outfit for me. I didn’t sleep that night; I was too afraid of what was coming tomorrow.

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Adry short... but sorry it was just a quicky