Shared Story

Hello :)
So below is someone's story..
she would like to share it with you and just let it all out. .
please offer advice if you have any..
Otherwise.. it just helps to talk to someone who doesn't know you..
So i Guess this can be considered as part of the healing process..

*Names have been changed..

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i guess today was the day i decided to let go of it all!
I wonder when did I first learn to love?
At the age of 13 I made that decision to commit…
Not to any one, but a member of the royal family…was I that materialistic from a young age??!! Did the watches he gave me blind my eyes…was I charmed with his smile, did his light tan really make me love him??!!
But based on what did I think I’m in love…the smile I felt forming across my check bones, or the heartbeats I felt pumping in my chest?? Or was I simply trying to making every girl jealous by putting my hands on the new item that dropped in school??!!
I guess a7mad was overwhelmed with my beauty himself, I myself came from a high class well known family..i knew the standers I was expected to end up with and thus I aimed for.
You may say I’m the type of girl that get’s what she wants… I put my eyes on something, I work on getting it and yes you guessed it right I actually do get it…and like all of you, as soon as I get it I feel like I don’t need it anymore…
Stuff moved fast and the next thing you know, I had my first boyfriend…he’s just a year older than me..14 at the time…
We were the young sweet hearts….my friends would gather around us and smile at the image of us sitting next to each other…you’d hear one call out: ‘you’ll end up having gorgeous babies.’
After 2 weeks of passion, I was forced to leave a7mad…since my sister found out…she had no chose but to tell my mother…everyone at school was talking about us!
So we broke up…I guess that’s when I realized I really liked him…
No..the story doesn’t end here…it goes on…but not with Nasser…
I felt really lonely at this stage of my life, that’s when my friends grew closer to me…
But that’s when the unexpected happened….my friends ex-boyfriend claims he’s into me…
He’s no more than a brother…
We grew closer as we talked, he paid attention to what I said, he listened and respected me…he himself comes from a well known family.
I started to like him…I admit…
As I grew older I knew whats wrong and whats right, whats acceptable in our society and whats not, that’s when I backed out….
Long story short..i guess my so called friend, the hand that pulled me from the dead is the same that wants to spend his life with me!
I was shocked..but I left everything as it is and moved on…
After 5 years…this same person comes back..holding the same exact feeling for me..
But now is it love??
Im much grown, my brain can digest this all.
I know for a fact a friend of mine holds feelings for him…but she hurt me once…was I the kind of person to hurt her back?!
I sit with myself, and yes I saw a future for both of us…a possibility maybe
Until..he thought he knew me well…
That’s when I said goodbye…
Are those two men I know worth me?? I don’t think so..a7mad..oh my I guess bumping into you now will just decide if there was ever love…I admit I hate my self for thinking I loved you..you where a crush..nothing but that….why did I ruin my past with you…how can I ever stand in front of my husband and say yes I did have a boyfriend…or should I lie….everything is different now….
But you fahad…you knew so much….you knew about a7mad….you still took me as I am…but to use me to show yourself how much of a man you are then your wrong….im worth so much as I know it…I stood with my head high on graduation night, I looked in your fathers eyes thinking ill be part of your life one day…but sadly my fairy tale got shattered….
If I was to ask you something now I’d just ask if you really loved me?? was I really gonna be the mother of your children??
To be honest you’re the only man I felt warm as I talked to…you made me smile and feel upset…but hell yes you hurt me, you said what no one else had said…so as much as you wanted me to be yours I wanna make you stay away…
Ive always been know for being a strong person but I guess when I see you, I’ll know if what I did is the right thing or not..
Thankyou for reading…I feel so much better now, and knowing that all your readers might read this makes me smile…
I guess you were right opening up is what I really needed…am I alone?? No im not…ive got my family…and that’s enough..and you and your readers are for sure part of it.
Thankyou again
sara..


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Inshallah I will post soon..