Misjudging yourself

For all of you people who think you know me..
YOu are wrong!!
I am a non-existing person!!!!!!
So don't even bother..
btw.. this is a random post..
bas inshallah by the end of this week I will post part 13 of the story!!
P.s: this post may not make any sense to you :Pp
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It is disappointing when you don't know how to describe yourself anymore.

I always thought that I was a rather logical and rational person.

I thought that I was capable of making the right decisions.

I thought that my first impressions where always right.

I thought that my judgment was always the wisest.

I thought that no matter what other people say, my opinion will always be right, at least for me.

I thought that I knew what I'm talking about.

But as I started to see the world more clearly, I realized that I was wrong all along.

I realized it was my pride that fogged all the traces of reality.

Everything I ever believed in, got contradicted somewhere along the way.

Ignorance was my theme for a while, but then it stopped working.

Now I'm lost somewhere in the road of discovery.

There are two paths only; a long, strenuous one which may lead me to satisfaction, and a short one that is easier but again it doesn't result in any satisfaction.

Satisfaction: the feeling I long for.

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TC!

Meant to Be (Part Twelve - B)

Just as I promised :Pp
Another short post.. but a bit longer than the previous one!
DEDICATED TO H...
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Full credit for the picture goes to HKR

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hamoud/

I hope HKR doesn't mind me borrowing one of the pictures..

It took me five minutes to realise what it is exactly! But I loved the angle!

----- M7ammad


Shfeeha hathy I thought to myself. It's like she just saw a ghost or something, I chuckled slightly at her reaction.

I waited for about half an hour, but I couldn't hear any movement inside the bathroom, and nature calls were getting more intense by the second. So I decided to check on her.

"Shai5a..." I called as I knocked the door.

I heard something crash inside, and then some muffled voices.

"Are you okay in there?" I asked her, as I tried opening the door.

"One second.." She said from inside. After a couple of seconds she opened the door slightly, and looked at me from behind the door.

"Shfeech?" I asked her.

"Wala shay." She replied quickly, but she still didn't move from behind the door.

"Shai5a.. I need to use the bathroom" I said trying to be patient with her.

"EEe.. ok.. " She said, still refusing to move.

"Look, I really need to use the bathroom, so if you don't mind just move from behind the door so I can finish my business" I told her.

"But I'm not dressed" She said, on the verge of tears.

"3ayal shitsaween sa3a bl 7amam?" I asked her in a soft voice, not wanting her to cry again.

"Niseet ayeeb my clothes with me .." She said, while looking away.

"Ok... so what do you want me to do about it?" I asked her. She remained silent and I can see the tears gradually forming in her expressive eyes. "Ok.. shoofay.. ana ra7 a6la3 min il '3urfa for two minutes, you take all the stuff you need and go to the bathroom and get dresses quickly please." I said as I turned to leave, and I stressed on the word quickly again.

I stood outside for a couple of minutes, and thank god that our room was in the corner, so no one saw me in my homeless look. I honestly look like a guy who just got kicked out by his wife I thought, as I got in the room again quickly.

I waited for about 15 minutes, and then she came out, fully dressed. She mumbled a 'sorry' and went to the closet quickly.

I rushed to the bathroom, finished my business, took a shower to calm my nerves and got out in about half an hour. I wrapped myself in a towel, and headed out to get dressed.


----- Shaikha


I sat on the edge of the tub, thinking about a way I will be able to pass by him without him seeing me. I was lost in thought, when I heard a loud knock on the door. Startled, I jumped causing the whole row of shampoos to fall. I began putting them back, when I heard him calling me.

"Are you okay in there?" He asked me. Well no I'm not, I wanted to answer but couldn't. He was trying to open the door, which freaked me out.

"One second.." I said quickly, as I secured the towel around my body. I opened the door and found him standing there; I swallowed carefully.

"Shfeech?" He asked me.

"Wala shay.." I quickly replied, not wanting him to imagine me in my current state.

He said some things about needing to use the bathroom, and I replied stupidly to all his questions and remarks. I didn't want to move from my place no matter what the situation was. He will not see me like this, I kept repeating to myself, and with each time I repeated it, I felt myself getting weaker and my tears starting to go against me.

"Ok... so what do you want me to do about it?" He asked me, and I felt that I will break down any minute. My hands were trembling, and my body was almost going to give up on me. But something made me listen to him. Maybe it was the soft tone that he tried to address me in, or maybe it was something else. "Ok.. shoofay.. ana ra7 a6la3 min il '3urfa for two minutes, you take all the stuff you need and go to the bathroom and get dresses quickly please." He said as he turned and I heard t he door close behind him.

Not believing that the stranger who didn't want to see me in the beginning was actually filling in the role of a caring and considerate husband, I stood there wide-eyed. Then I remembered that he was probably going to come in soon, so I rushed to the closet, got everything I needed and didn't need, just in case, and locked the bathroom door.

I heard the door get opened again, and my heart skipped a couple of beats. It was ignoring him when he was mean, but how will I live with the caring, considerate stranger?

I got dressed in the fastest way any woman can, cleaned the bathroom after me, and unlocked the door. I apologized quickly and went to where the closet is, in order to avoid any further conversation.

I started putting all my stuff back in my bag, and organizing them because I knew that this was our last night in the hotel. Just as I finished, I heard the bathroom door getting unlocked.

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HOpe you enjoyed :)

Meant to Be (Part Twelve - A)

short post i know..
but i will post tomorrow ba3ad inshallah!!
this post is dedicated to "um 3abdallah"!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! w je t'aime, french person ;Pp
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----- M7ammad

I woke up, blinked once, twice, then I stood up quickly. I remembered last night and looked around for Shai5a but didn't find her.

I heard the bathroom door opening, and I saw her big eyes frantically looking around. As soon as she saw me, she quickly closed the door and muttered something.


----- Shai5a

I woke up early since I wasn't a big fan of sleeping. I was felt comfortable and cozy, which is weird because I usually squirm a lot while I'm sleeping. I tried to get up but something was pinning me to the bed. My eyes started to widen as I recalled the events of last night.

I struggled to free myself from his hugging pose and quickly ran to the bathroom. What happened yesterday I thought to myself? How did I let myself sleep next to a guy I barely know?

I asked myself a million questions as I opened the shower and scrubbed my body with all my power, trying to forget how it felt to be in his arms.

After what seemed like an hour, I started to feel dizzy, so I wrapped myself in a towel and looked around searching for my bag. I realized that I didn't bring it because I rushed to the bathroom earlier, and I cursed myself a hundred times for that.

I opened the door slowly and took a peak, only to find him looking around for something, and his gaze settled on me. I quickly closed the door, thinking of a way I can spare myself anymore embarrassment.

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Hope you enjoyed!

Meant to Be (Part eleven)

Hello Lovelies!!!
I'm being a really nice and responsible blogger..
So I posted just in time!! :Pp
HOpe you like it..

**THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO:
1. my BF .. Fa6oom: I miss U!!
2. Shooga: I miss U 2!!
3. Jumjuma: just for the sake of shooga :P
4. Um 3abdallah: I love U!
5. All my lovely readers and commentors..

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----- M7ammad

I took a quick shower, dressed and quickly opened the door hoping to just throw myself on the couch and fall asleep. However, I found her sleeping on the couch. To be honest, I was really angry because I wanted to sleep, immediately.

"I7m" I said in a loud voice as I stood in front of her. She had her face covered by the blanket so I didn't know if she was asleep or not.

"I7m" I said even louder this time. I watched as the blanket slightly shook. I thought that she was laughing at me, so I took the blanket off her with an angry expression on my face. Sleeping is one of my favorite hobbies since I was a teenager, and she was just wasting my time.

However, what I didn't expect and what I didn't prepare for was her, crying. She cupped her face in her tiny hands as she tried to stop the flowing tears. I have to admit she caught me off guard because this was never an area I am strong in. I hated seeing people sad, and especially hated children or women crying in front of me.

I stood there, contemplating on what to do as she cried her heart out in front of me. She stood up, with her teary eyes, trying to go somewhere else, where I won't be watching her I guess. She kept her gaze fixed on the ground as she weakly tried to get past me.

I don't know why I did it, but I guess that I'm not that much of the beast I claim I am. So, I held her arm and stopped her in front of me.

"Shfeech?" I asked her in a soft voice, looking somewhere else because even though I am showing signs that I care about her, but I actually don't. Besides, I don't want to get emotionally attached to her in any way.

She remained silent, but my question only triggered another flow of endless tears. Her body, seemed very fragile, and I supported her weight on my body as she shivered. I didn't know what to do so I just hugged her close to me.

I rubbed her back, and reassured her continuously that it will be okay. She seemed to get calmer after a couple of minutes. My eyes searched the room for a glass of water, and when I located the fridge, I lifted her because I didn't think that she had any energy left in her, and went to pour her a glass of water.

She slightly tugged at my shirt, and I let her stand again as I gave her some water. She kept looking at the ground with a tired expression on her face. I knew that she was probably going to get dehydrated so I lifted her chin, and smiled to her. I wiped her tears and gave her the glass of water while I went to get her some panadol tablets that I remembered leaving in my bag.

I came back with them and gave them to her, as I rubbed her back. She finished and stood there, lost.

"Tabeen tnameen?" I asked her, and she nodded slightly.

"Ta3alay.." I said as I led her by the hand to the bed. "Good night" I told her softly as I smoothed her hair and covered her with the duvet.

I remained sitting beside her in bed, waiting for her to fall asleep so that I can go to sleep myself. For some reason, I felt guilty because I didn't treat her well from the beginning. I also realized that she is a victim, just like me, with made me sympathize with her. If we are going to live the rest our lives without being miserable, we have to help each other out.

I took a glance at her, her delicate features made her look really innocent and lovable. However, it was clear that she was troubled, even in her sleep. She lips would twitch every now and then and she would toss without rest.

I held her hand and stroked it, which made her involuntarily move closer to me. I laid down on the bed and hugged her. She moved even closer and buried her head in my chest as I caressed her hair.

I closed my eyes for the first time this night and after a few seconds I was fast asleep.



----- Shai5a


As soon as I heard the bathroom's door being opened, I covered myself with the blanket to hide my tears.

I felt his presence near me which made me cry even more. I didn't want to be here, and I especially didn't want to be here with him, whom I consider a stranger.

"I7m" He repeated twice, each time with a louder voice, which caused me to flinch. He pulled the cover forcefully, from on top of me, which just made the tears increase in number.

I covered my face with my hands, and gathered all the strength left in me to get up. I tried moving, but my bleary vision just made things worst. I avoided his gaze, afraid that he will just make another sarcastic comment. However, to my surprise he didn't.

He held my hand gently and asked me what's wrong. To answer that question I had to write a novel, and still there would be many things left out. I tried to scream for help, I tried to run away, but all I could do was cry, until I could no longer stand straight.
He hugged me close to him, as I leaned on his muscular body.

I felt safe. I felt secure. I felt loved. But that was only because of hormonal rush I felt as soon as my body touched his. I knew it wouldn't last, but I didn't care as long as his presence numbed my senses for a while.

He gently lifted me off the floor, and went to the fridge to pour me a cup of water. After handing it to me and making sure I was stable enough, he went and got me some panadols. I took them, and stood there scared to make the next move.

"Tabeen tnameen?" He asked me in a gentle voice. I nodded my head in agreement, so he led me to bed, and covered me after he said "good night"

I closed my eyes, but I knew that he was still sitting beside me. I tossed and tossed, I felt like crying because I was in a state that didn't allow me to sleep, but I was also too tired to even open my eyes.

I felt his hand on mine, rubbing it in a comforting way. I moved closer to him, wanting him to be the source of my comfort, wanting him to shelter me from the misfortunes of the world.

He laid beside me and hugged me, as I moved closer to him. I hid my head in his shirt, as he played with my hair. I stayed like this for a couple of minutes, until I can hear his breathing getting steady. Guessing than he was asleep by now, I took a quick peek at his face, and then went back to my position.

As I counted his heartbeats, a strange feeling started to develop in me. Just before I could ask myself what it could be, I drifted to sleep.

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That's it for today :P
Hope you enjoyed !!!!

Meant to Be (Part 10)

Hello!!
I know I said I will post in the weekend..
But I wasn't and still not in the mood for studying..
So I thought I would write a short post!
ENjoy!
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----- M7ammad


As soon as the door closed, I took a quick look at my "wife" and then gave her my back. How awkward can this be I thought to myself?

I felt some movement in the room, and then I heard the sound of a door getting locked. I'm guessing she's finishing her business in the bathroom.

I looked around the room, and my gaze settled on the bed, the comfy, inviting bed. How I long to just jump onto it. But I knew that I will not sleep on this bed, because she will. So I called the reception, hoping that there is any other room available for me to stay in for the night. Since I didn't handle the reservations for the hotel, they decided to trap us both in this room. Unfortunately, all the rooms were taken, so I guess I'm going to be stuck here. I asked the guy on the phone to get me some pillows and an extra blanket because it looks like I will need them. I thought about the sleeping arrangement some more, and settled on sleeping on the couch.

I rummaged through my bag as I waited for her to finish from the bathroom so I can use it. I was getting really irritated because she has been in the bathroom for almost an hour now. Just as I was about to knock on the bathroom door, I heard the door bell.

I rushed there hoping that its one of my sisters coming to check on us. However, I was greeted by something even better: soft, fluffy pillows. I thanked the guy and prepared my bed on the couch. I laid down with my clothes but there were very uncomfortable because I was used to sleeping in, well, nothing really besides my boxers. But for this "special occasion” I did plan on wearing my pjs. I thought about changing in the room since she doesn't seem like she'll be done any time soon, but decided against it.

After about 30 more minutes, she opened the door, but strangely, she didn't get out. I went to check on her, thinking that she passed out or something, but she soon got out holding high so it doesn't touch the ground I'm guessing. However, it was still sweeping the bathroom's floor. The dress was covering her face, so she couldn't see where she was going, and so she bumped into me.

Startled she dropped the dress, and stared at me wide-eyed. Typical 18-year old I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes. I looked at her from top to bottom, and I can only say that I enjoyed the scene. She was wearing a sleeveless silk night gown that fit her just right, which was very entertaining and amusing I must say. The gown highlighted just the right parts of her body, and the color complemented her skin color. Just as I realized that I was starring at her, I scolded myself and looked in the other direction quickly.

"Il 7imdillah 3al Salama." I remarked sarcastically , as I made my way to the bathroom.



----- Shai5a


As soon as they closed the door after them, I stood there terrified of what's coming next. He took a glance in my direction then faced the other way. I took the chance to grab my bag and run into the bathroom.

I took off my huge dress and placed it aside, then I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, and all the tears that I held that night came flowing. Angrily, I splashed water on my face, once, twice, and until all the makeup was gone. Then I undid my hair, which was very exhausting since I had to take all the pins out of my hair. I wasn't in the mood to take a shower because I was really exhausted, so i decided that I will take one next morning.

I looked in my bag, which my mom prepared, for my pjs, but I didn't find anything. I held out the night gown that she put for me and cried in horror. There is no way I'm going to wear this in front of a strange man. I sat on the floor, thinking about a way to run from this situation. I looked at my watch and was shocked to see that I was in the bathroom for more than an hour.

Reluctantly, I wore my night gown since I had nothing there besides the clothes I'm going to wear for next morning and I would definitely look like a freak if I wore them. Not that I care of course, right?!

I gathered all my stuff, and arranged them in my bag again, and then I opened the door slowly, hoping that by now he will be already asleep. I held the dress up so that it doesn't get damaged and walked out. However, I bumped into something, which I hoped was a wall. The dress fell from me, only to disappoint me more by revealing that I actually bumped into his hard chest.


I looked at him petrified, and he didn't seem to care. He rolled his eyes and them started to "check me out," shamelessly may I say. I had Goosebumps all over my body from the way he was looking at me, I swallowed, hoping that all this is just a dream, but it wasn't because he seemed to snap back into reality so he looked away quickly and headed to the bathroom. But not before he throws a silly remark.

"Il 7imdillah 3al Salama" He told me in a mordant way, and he closed the bathroom door.

Tears started to form in my eyes as I took in the scene. I looked around and saw some pillows and a blanket on the couch. Thinking that he wanted me to sleep there, I laid down, trying to sleep, but in reality I was couldn't even close my eyes.

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Hope YOu enjoyed!!

SORRY!!

Hello!!

Shlonkum??!!

Adry iny waaaayed 6awwalt!!!

W walla 7adde sorry...

I promise, promise, promise... I will post this week..

Id3ooly ina ma ya36oony wayed HW :S

TC everyone!