Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Analogy

Random Post.. :)
Enjoy your break while you can everyone :):)
Special Dedications to "H"
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You know when you wake up and it's really really late at night..

everything around you is dark and still..

it's an extremely cold night..

and you didn't have enough sleep yet..

you don't want to leave your bed, and yet you have to..

because unfortunately you need to go to the bathroom :P

you delay leaving your bed as much as you can

hoping that your body will just neglect its needs for a while so you can sleep..

but after a while you realize that you HAVE to get up immediately or else (... fill in the blank ... ) :P

so you remorsefully leave your bed and finish your business in the bathroom quickly..

and on your way back you focus on one thing and one thing only.. your bed

and even though it's really dark, you find your way back without any complications..

you jump in bed quickly with a smile forming on your sleepy face..

you dive into the comfort of your warm, cozy bed..

you cover yourself up and all..

and stay awake for a while just savoring your reunion with your beloved bed..

you smile one more time just before you drift to the land where you are the princess..



That feeling, when you get back to bed..

That is how it feels when I'm in his arms.

And how I long to be in his arms.

He is my bed.. the one made just for me..

and I LOVE my bed!

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Hope you enjoyed :)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Meant to be (part fifteen)

At last..
the long awaited post :P
w inshallah another one will be coming up this weekend!
bas its short shwaya :P
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----- M7ammad

I actually enjoyed hugging her, okay maybe I got carried away with the hug but she didn't seem to mind at all.

The rest of the night went by quickly, but of course not action less.

I was chatting with my sister with my hand still around Shai5a, when my cousin, whom I don't really like, came. Her name was Aisha, and she had a crush on me from when we were teenagers but she didn't really appeal to me, and I made that clear to her several times, but I guess she is slow when it comes to these kinds of things. She flipped her hair, and shot Shai5a a look as she greeted me.

Here we go, I thought to myself, the drama queen is about to start.

"Shlonik 7amoood?" She asked in her bratty voice.

"Tamam .. intay shlonich?" I asked her, just out of politeness.

"Shai5a.. hathy bnt 5alty Aisha.. t3arfeenha 9a7?" My sister Dalal interrupted.

Just as Shai5a was about to reply, Aisha rudely interrupted her.

"Eee.. shlon ma t3arefny? Ana ily knt aby asawy awragha 7ag kuliyat il 6ib.. bas ubooha ma ri'6a .. 9a7?" She asked in an evil way.

Shai5a's face was pale for a couple of seconds, and I could feel her body stiffen.

"La2.. bas allah moo kateb..." Shai5a replied after a while, when she saw that Aisha was gazing at her, waiting for an answer.

"Ee w a9lan ma atwa8a3 7amood ra7 yir'6a murta t'6aye3 wagtha bil dirasa" She said as she winked in my direction.

Tears were starting to form in Shai5a's eyes, and I could sense that I was missing a big piece in the puzzle. I decided that I will deal with that later, as I defended her.

"Mno gal?! Ana murty tsawy ily taby.. she can pursue her dreams wherever they are and I will always follow her and support her" I said confidently.
I took most of my audience with surprise, from Aisha, to Dalal, to Shai5a, and to my mother who was apparently listening for some reason.

Aisha had a puzzled look on her face, and I knew that she will not close the subject unless she makes someone really upset, which is one of the things I hate about her. She never gives up when she is on a mission to serve the devil.

"Ahaa... well I guess your young (emphasizing that word) wife, must have given you a better perspective on life... la2ana from what I know about you, you think that women are better as domestic wives" She replied.

"whoever told you that my wife is not domestic? She bakes the best cakes in the world! Made me fall in love with her right then!" I replied, now definitely gob smacking everyone listening. "And besides I don't prefer domestic women, I like independent women with some brain tissues, so I'm guessing you don't know me well, now do you?" I replied.

"Yes I do know you... wala you forgot all the nights in the mazra3a and the chalet?" She said in an aggressively-crazy way as she gave me her back and left before I said anything else.

Again, everyone was looking at me with curious eyes, especially Shai5a. I met Dalal's gaze and she rolled her eyes because she knew that Aisha was just trying to create drama.

I looked at Shai5a but she looked away quickly.

"We need to talk" I whispered as she hesitantly nodded her head.

"Our first husband and wife talk.. how would you like that?" I continued as I kissed her cheek.

She looked at me astonished at first, but she quickly blushed and looked away. I chuckled at her reaction, and looked at my watch. After 10 minutes exactly, we will have to leave to catch our plane.


----- Shai5a

I was really comfortable while in his warm embrace, and so I decided not to talk so I don't ruin the moment. But the moment lasted for a long, and very happy while, until someone I don't really like came.

She walked with an air of confidence which I can be easily passed on to be arrogance.

I smiled in her direction, but she shot me a look in return and didn't acknowledge my existence as M7amad's wife.

"Shlonik 7amoood?" She said, trying desperately to sound feminine, but only sounding like a spoiled brat. Shtaby hathy, I thought to myself as I tried not to look at her disgustingly.

" Tamam .. intay shlonich?" M7amad replied, in a cold way.

"Shai5a.. hathy bnt 5alty Aisha.. t3arfeenha 9a7?" Asked Dalal, in a way to make Aisha realize that I'm his wife here, and she shouldn't get carried away.
How can I not know her? She is the only person who doesn't seem to welcome me from M7amad's mother's side of the family.

"Eee.. shlon ma t3arefny? Ana ily knt aby asawy awragha 7ag kuliyat il 6ib.. bas ubooha ma ri'6a .. 9a7?" Aisha replied in sarcastic way.

I felt my throat getting dry and I leaned back a bit, because I honestly didn't think that she would get that low. I mean I don't even know her. Why does she have to expose me and remind me of something I really wanted to forget? She specifically knew that it was a sensitive subject for me.

"La2.. bas allah moo kateb..." I tried my best to reply as I felt her gaze burning through me.

"Ee w a9lan ma atwa8a3 7amood (in a way she thinks is dala3 but I think is plain ugliness) ra7 yir'6a murta t'6aye3 wagtha bil dirasa" She added in a victorious tone as she winked in M7amad's direction.

What the h*ll, I thought to myself. Who is she to insult me and then wink in my husband's direction? I honestly felt like slapping her but I couldn't obviously, and so tears involuntarily started to form in my eyes.

"Mno gal?! Ana murty tsawy ily taby.. she can pursue her dreams wherever they are and I will always follow her and support her" M7amad said in such a loving way. I looked at him surprised, but he only squeezed my shoulder in response.

"Ahaa... well I guess your young (emphasizing that word) wife, must have given you a better perspective on life... la2ana from what I know about you, you think that women are better as domestic wives" She shot back, not willing to give up.

"whoever told you that my wife was not domestic? She bakes the best cakes in the world! Made me fall in love with her right then!" He replied enthusiastically as he rubbed his stomach, and to say that I was shocked from his statement was an understatement. I looked at Dalal and she had a shocked-happy-confused look on her face. "And besides I don't prefer domestic women, I like independent women with some brain tissues, so I'm guessing you don't know me well, now do you?" He concluded in a confidently victorious way.

"Yes I do know you... wala you forgot all the nights in the mazra3a and the chalet?" Aisha said as a concluding statement, and walked away. Such a coward, I thought to myself!

I didn't really care about what she said because I knew from other sources that she was delirious and she had a crush on M7amad which bothered me, a lot!
I was looking at him, trying to get some answers about what just happened by reading his face, but he caught me in the act, so I quickly busied myself with something else.

"We need to talk" He whispered into my ear, making me have goose-bumps everywhere. I nodded and looked away again.

"Our first husband and wife talk.. how would you like that?" He asked me in a low (very attractive if I may add) voice, and kissed my cheek.

He took me by surprise, so I stared at him for a while, but then blushed and looked away. He chuckled at my reaction as usual, and after a while, he told me that we have to leave to the airport.

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Hope you enjoyed :)

Friday, November 27, 2009

HAPPY EID :)



AT LAST!!
I've been waiting for this day since FOREVER!

Happy Eid to all of you :)
3eedkum Mbarak!
w ta8abal allah 6a3atkum
w kil 3am w intaw b 5eer :)
w have fun and enjoy every single moment of this day and the upsoming non-school, non-working days ! :)


Thursday, November 26, 2009

Meant to Be (Part fourteen)

Hello :)
I hope everyone did well in their exams!
W sorry for the late post :P
3eedkum Mbarak Mu8adaman :)
This post is dedicated to Um 3abdallah.. "fee the word you can't pronounce :P"
w Fa6oom.. "I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!"
w to all my friends and lovely readers :)
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----- M7ammad


I don't know why the lady's comment bothered me. Maybe because I didn't want to hear the bitter truth from another person. If only she knew that we were forced into this marriage, what would she say then?


I wanted to go to our mazra3a; I missed the place. I missed the serenity and peace there. However, I knew that I would never make it back in time if I went there.


I went to my parents' house and entered from the back door because I didn't feel like talking to anybody. I went to my room and watched TV for about an hour or two. They had "The Doctors" on and I listened to their debate about vaccines for a while, before dozing off.


I woke up startled as I looked at my watch. Sh*t, I thought to myself; I was late! I don't think I will have time to pick her up, and get to the 3azeema in time.


I ran downstairs but stopped when I heard the laughs of women; again I cursed myself for being late. I tried calling my sisters but they didn't answer. But then Mariam, my youngest sister, came with a tray in her hand. She looked mad when she saw me and motioned for me to wait until she comes.


"M7amad min 9ijik!!" She said angrily when she came back.


"Shno?!" I asked surprised.


"Laish ma ri7t 5atheet murtek? Inta tadry ina i5itha ihya ily yabatha? ya3ny lazem tfashilna min awal shay? Don't you know that you have to enter together?" She said quickly, literally fuming.


"Inzain bas 5ala9!" I told her annoyed.


"W ba3ad moo mbadel!" She screamed.


"5ala9 gilna!" I told her. "Il7een abadel w anzel!"


I went upstairs quickly, changed, and hurried downstairs. I found Dalal and Mariam waiting for me, both looked annoyed. I rolled my eyes, because I knew that they will not let this pass by. Dalal told the women that I was going to come in, so they can cover up if they needed to.


I entered and the room was packed with women wearing all sorts of color but all of them had the same eager, curious expression. I greeted all my relatives, and kissed my mom's head and I can see that she wasn't very happy.


Beside my mother, my 'wife' was sitting. She didn't even bother to glance me way. But I knew that if I ignored her my sisters will kill me, and my mother would probably be very mad.


My mom is a really sweet person; she always made sure that my brothers treated their wives with respect and love, since she sort of didn't have that kind of relationship with my father. He was almost always a cold person, and he only cared about his opinion. Therefore, my mother didn't want anyone to go through what she went through. Even though she does love my dad, their relationship just lacks equality. My father always had the upper hand, and even I didn't want to be like him in that way.


I sat beside her and smiled as I took her hand in mine.


Just seconds later, my niece, Sara, came with her camera and started taking pictures excitedly. I laughed at how serious she was, made some funny faces to get her annoyed, and then hugged Shai5a closer to me for a good picture.



----- Shai5a


After he dropped me off, I went in to find my sister and mother waiting for me. They hugged me, and I cried, which made my mother cry, and my sister follow her.


Then I went to get ready for the 3azeema. I found my bag ready for the honeymoon which I was dreading. So, I basically sat, waiting for M7ammad to come.


My sister and mom finished getting ready for the 3azeema also, and M7ammad still hasn't shown up.


"Diggay 3alee" My mother told me, while adjusting her brooch.


"No way" I replied.


" Shai5a bala dala3.. he's your husband.. ya3ny you shouldn't have any formalities between you..

il mafroo'6 ma tisti7een minna" Said my sister.


"In case you didn't notice, this is not a typical marriage. Besides I don't even have his number" I said coolly.


My mother and sister exchanged looks, and they decided to take me with them to the 3azeema even thought I should really enter with my husband.


We went there and the place was packed with women, half of them were family, and the other half, I didn't even recognize, but had to greet anyways.


When I came in, I noticed some of my cousins' faces change.


"Shai5a .. wain M7ammad?" asked me all of my sisters-in-law; and to all of them I replied saying that I had no idea really.


My mother-in-law who is an exceptionally sweet woman, hugged me and told me that

M7ammad will change once he really knows me. She seemed embarrassed that he didn't come and get me; I kissed her head and assured her that everything is alright and that he probably forgot about the whole thing.


I sat for a while, chatting with some of my cousins, and trying to find a way to stop some of the women from staring at me.


I wasn't nervous until Dalal, my cousin and my sister-in-law, announced that M7amad was going to come in. I stared at my lap, as my cousin told me what he was doing. She kept saying who he was greeting and what he was saying, as if I really wanted to know. I felt him beside me, and I knew that he was greeting his mother.


I tried focusing on one of my younger cousins sitting across the room, so he wouldn't come next to me. However, to my surprise, my cousin who was sitting beside me disappeared suddenly, and he sat in her place. He held my hand in his, and my heart started malfunctioning as soon as he did so.


I looked the other way, and after a couple of seconds, Sara, M7amad's nephew, and a really sweet girl, came hurriedly, and started taking pictures.


I laughed at her expressions, and then at M7amad's silly faces. Sometimes, when I see him with his family, and I see the love in his eyes for them, I thank god that he is my husband. Maybe, just maybe, he isn't so bad.


Just as that thought crossed my mind, he hugged me closer to him. A myriad of different emotions went through me as my body was glued to his, and a million envious eyes watched us. If you only knew, I thought to myself, as enjoyed some of the rare moments in which he really acts like my husband.

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Hope you enjoyed !! :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Meant to Be (Part Thirteen)

At last .. the story!!!!!
this is an extra- long post :)

Dedicated to my 30 followers.. sorry to keep you waiting..
and the people who comment on my blog .. thank you :)
and to all the bloggers who post daily :Pp
to all my friends who support me.. thank you..
to my bf.. I miss you..
my cousin.. I love you and J :P
and H


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----- M7ammad


I saw her sitting there in the corner with her bag beside her. She lifted her head and stared with a shocked expression on her face.


"Shno?" I asked her, amazed by her expression.


She quickly turned her head, and started rummaging through her bag. She took something out and headed to the door. I followed her.


"Wain inshallah?" I asked her, with my temper starting to flare from her strange behavior.


"Ummm.. " She stuttered as I waited for her to reply. "Aby anzel shway" she replied in an almost inaudible voice.


"Inzain ni6ray shwaya, I'll just change and come down with you" I told her. I didn't want her to go alone because the reception is probably crowded with men right now.


She stood there, with her hand on the door handle, refusing to get in the room.


" I told my sister that I would go to her now" She said.


" W wain i5tich?" I asked her.


"Bitmurny ba3ad shway" she said while biting her nails.


" W laish tmurich?" I said, now really annoyed.


"3ashan ta5ithny" She replied, on the verge of crying.


"Mala da3y.. digay 3aleeha w tell her that I will drop you off, w ba3dain tara fee 3azeema in our house before we head to the airport at night.." I told her.


"Laish? 3adee ihya tyee.." She said quickly.


"Laish ihya tyee?! Ya3ny ana moo tares 3ainich?! Wala ma ti3tarfeen iny zoojich?" I yelled at her. The thing is I can be very sympathetic, but I have a temper, which I can't control most of the time.


She started crying, and I felt guilty.


"Listen, I'm your husband now. I know we both had no hand in this, but I'm responsible for you now. If you want something, you come to me. If you need someone, I will be there, because it's my duty as your husband to provide for you" I told her trying to explain my point of view.


"It's not your duty to do anything. I am not a kid, and you are not responsible for me. I can manage on my own, thank you very much" She said, with an angry tone, which I found really cute. She was short, and you can say petite, so she didn't look scary at all.


"Jiddamy." I told her firmly, wanting to stop this conversation right now.


She didn't move, so I glared at her, pretending that I was angry, while I was just enjoying her constantly changing expressions. She went from a crying girl, to an angry one, to a stubborn one, and now to a scared one.


I held her hand an led her to the bed. "Gi3day" I ordered.


She sat down obediently. "Il7een aby ashoof shlon you go against my word. Ana gilt I am responsible for you, which means I will be responsible for you. And you will sit here until I change, ba3dain I will drop you off at your parent's house, and I will come after a couple of hours so we can go to the 3azeema."


I took my clothes and went into the extremely small dressing room which was occupied by her humongous dress. I really don't understand why it has to be so long and huge. Since there was no place for me to change, I took my clothes and went to the bathroom to change, after I checked on her. And she was in the exact same position I left her in, just like I expected.
I changed quickly, prayed, and then I was good to go. I took my bag, and went to her.


"Yalla misheena" I told her, as I took her bag.


"Mala da3ee I can carry it" She said.


"roo7ay i5thay your dress" I told her.


She went to the dressing room, and I waited, and waited..


"Umm.. M7amad.." She called me hesitantly. Awal marra tgool ismy I thought to myself. Ya3ny ashwa at least she knows my name.


"What's wrong?" I asked


"The dress.. it's too huge.." She told me.


I left the bag, and went there, only to see holding it above her head, with most of the tail still touching the floor. I couldn't see her face from the dress, but the scene was hilarious.


"Mno galich tishtireen gown hal kubur?" I asked her sarcastically.


She lowered the dress as she glared at me, then held it back up and attempted to walk. She took a step, while kicking the tail so she could move, but then she stumbled back because the fabric was still on the floor. I laughed at her, and waited for a while, just to see what she would come up with. She kept on stumbling and huffing and puffing, so I eventually took the dress from her.


"I can carry it by myself." She said, being stubborn.


"Sure you can. " I replied with a smirk, and carried on walking. The gown was a bit heavy for a piece of clothing, and it was very long.


"You are ruining the fabric!" She freaked out, and lifted the tail which dragged behind me, so it doesn't get ruined.


"Ashoofich shiltee broo7ich" I told her, while hurrying to the elevator, but unfortunately we missed it.


We got in, and an old Kuwaiti lady eyed us. Her eyes were full of question and inquiries, and her gossiping nature was urging her to talk.


"Mashallah.. intaw ma3arees?" The old lady asked.


I looked at Shai5a as she smiled and nodded to the old lady.


"Ee mashallah.. allah yhhaneekum.. ila intaw shlon ti3arraftaw 3ala ba3a'6?" She asked again.


The woman was getting on my nerves, but apparently entertained Shai5a.


"A7na 3yal 3am" She replied with a smile.


"9ij! 3ad killish ma tshabHoom ba3a'6!" The old lady said, she looked at the dress's details, and then asked again. "Min wain sharya nafnoofich?"


"Ma7al b France" Shai5a replied.


"Shisma?" The old woman asked again.


"Walla ma atThakar" Shai5a replied, and I can now sense her discomfort.


The woman looked at her, then back at me, and continued studying our features. The elevator finally arrived, so the three of us entered. However, that didn't stop the lady from asking her meaningless questions.


"Shaklich akbar minha bwayed" She told me, and I ignored her because I didn't want to say anything rude.


"Shkither farg bainkum?" She directed the question to Shaikha.


"Umm.. madry.. moo wayed.." She stuttered as she replied.


The elevator door opened and I got out immediately, with Shaikha following me. The old lady

tried to catch up with us, but I just walked faster when I sensed her behind me. We got to the car, put the dress in the back seat, the bags in the trunk, and we drove silently to her house.




----- Shai5a


I looked up to see M7amad half naked, with only a towel covering his lower body. I think I stared at him for too long, because he said something that I didn't hear. I looked away quickly, and started looking for my phone in my bag. I took it and almost ran to the door so I can ask my sister to pick me up.


"Wain inshallah?" He asked me with a hint of anger in his voice. What's wrong with him I thought to myself. One minute he's the perfect gentleman, and now he's angry at me.


" Aby anzel .." I tried to reply.


He asked me a couple of questions, which I stupidly replied at because I couldn't focus with him looking like that in front of me. I kept moving closer to the door until he shouted at me.


"Laish ihya tyee?! Ya3ny ana moo tares 3ainich?! Wala ma ti3tarfeen iny zoojich?" He literally screamed at me.


I started crying, and then he lowered his voice and started to talk to me in his soothing voice. I didn't hear what he said first, but what I heard made me angry "... it's my duty as your husband to provide for you" He said .


I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. If he didn't want me, then I don't expect me to take care of me. And just because I am younger than him, doesn't mean that I'm a kid.


"It's not your duty to do anything. I am not a kid, and you are not responsible for me. I can manage on my own, thank you very much" I replied defensively.


"Jiddamy" He said in a scary tone, while pointing to the bed. I refused to move even though I was scared to death. He gave me a look, that almost made me shiver, and he took me by the hand and lead me to the bed.


"Gi3day" He demanded, and I sat down without a word.


"Il7een aby ashoof shlon you go against my word. Ana gilt I am responsible for you, which means I will be responsible for you. And you will sit here until I change, ba3dain I will drop you off at your parent's house, and I will come after a couple of hours so we can go to the 3azeema."


I was shocked, and managed to have this awed expression on my face, even after he changed and came so we can leave. He took my bag, and I tried to insist to carry it myself. But he told me to carry my dress instead. I totally forgot about it!


I went to the dressing room, and tried my best to come up with a way to carry the humongous dress. I held it over my head, but it still swept the floor. I felt desperate, so I called him. How do

I address him? I thought to myself, and decided to just go with his name.


He came, and instead of being useful, he just made fun of me. So I glared at him and decided to carry it by myself. All my attempts failed, and finally he decided to take it from me.


"I can carry it by myself." I told him angrily.


"Sure you can.." He replied in his annoying, sarcastic tone.


He carried it, but some of the fabric was still on the ground. Freaking out, I quickly held it so it doesn't get ruined.


"You are ruining the fabric!" I told him.


"Ashoofich shiltee broo7ich" He replied, and I felt like punching him right there.


We walked to the elevator, and as we waited, an old woman, the kind who look like they gossip a lot, started a question-answer session, where she would ask and we have to answer.


I absent mindedly answered, and I felt M7amad getting more annoyed by the second. She asked me about my wedding dress, and I lied, because I didn't feel like telling her. She would probably

ask me about the designers there, the directions to the shop, and how much the dress costs, if I told her the truth.


The elevator finally arrived, and she continued her interrogation in there too.


She said something, and I could feel M7amad stiffen beside me.


This time she looked at me and asked. "Shkither farg bainkum?"


"Umm.. madry.. moo wayed.." I replied, trying to avoid the question, I looked at M7amad who looked like he will hit the woman very soon.


The elevator door opened and M7amad almost flew to the car, with me running after him. He put the things in the car, and drove in complete and uncomfortable silence to my parent's house.

As soon as I got in the house, he sped away.



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Hope you enjoyed! :)
Wish me luck with all my tests!!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Someone I can't categorize

Random post,

For you, my best friend, my savior, my adviser, my hero..

________________________________________

How many times would I tag you?!



You know you mean the world to me,
you are the first person I think about whenever I have a problem,
you are the first person who comes to my mind when something good happens,
you are the book I keep all my secrets in,
you are the shoulder I cry on,
you are my support system,
you are my opposite, and yet my equal
you balance my every move,
you remind me of the positive things in life,
your adventures are mine,
your smile makes me happy,
your problems are my load to carry until you find a solution,
your success in life makes me proud,
your words direct my life even if I rebel against them,
your beauty inside-out is authentic,
you are my rock, my air, my everything,
your existence makes this world a better place
We were unseparable..

What am I supposed to do without you?

I miss you,
I miss our quick chats,
I miss our ever-lasting conversations,
I miss our long, detailed "7ash" sessions,
I miss your silly comments on everything,
I miss the way you tried to make me feel better,
I miss the way you get annoyed at stupid things,
I miss pretending to be mad at you,
I miss our childish, wild dares,
I miss trying to make you remember things,
I miss trying to get you to study,
I miss our on-going whispers in gatherings,
I miss our crazy moments,
I miss our even crazier future planning hours,
I miss jumping up and down before I tell you something,
I miss screaming on the phone,
I miss just looking at you and knowing you understand me,
I miss saying a word and having you complete the rest of the sentence,
I miss being myself without worrying what others might say,
I miss having a best friend
I miss you


You probably won't read this but I know that you just know ...

__________________________________

My lovely followers, do you want me to continue with my story?!
wala niseetooha?! :Pp

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Superman

Trying my very best to come up with as many excuses as I can to delay studying..
and I guess this is my last resource..
I'm sorry Im not in the mood to continue with the story now..
Just a random post again..
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Author's note:
I love superman :Pp
and Im waiting for mine :Pp..
and the title of the post has absolutely no relavance to the rest of its content :Pp



Randoms thoughts today and every other school day :S


I miss my blog ..

I wish I have time to write my story..

I hate the routinic nature of my life..

I hate the fact that i am addicted to blogs..

I hate the fact that am yearning for sleep ..

I hate the fact that I am insominiac..

I hate being a negative person..

I wish I can see the glass as half full, not half empty..

I wish I can have a clear sense of my priorities in life..

I wish I would close my eyes and turn 30 by tomorrow..

I wish I would really know what I want..

I wish I wouldn't break the promises I make for myself..

I wish I wasn't emotional..

I wish I didn't care about others..

I wish I would just stop wishing and start making things come true..

I wish all my wishes would just magically come true

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I have to study NOW!
inshallah i will try to post the next part of the story soon