My Heart..

Dedicated to Him..


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I love you, my heart would whisper every time you I see you...

You look at me, a hint of amusement in your eyes..

Did you hear that?

Of course not, because I have taught my heart the art of silence..

The art of thinking, but never talking aloud..

It betrays me sometimes, with a whisper escaping its closed chambers..

But you can't hear it..

Because my heart beats always manage to be louder..

Louder than its whispers,

louder than its sobs,

louder than its hopes..

My heart cries silently some more..

begging me to allow it to talk, to scream, to be heard..

It shivers as you get closer..

It begs me again..

It vows that it would be just one time..

Just one time, my heart would say,

It's just one time that it wants to be heard..

You stand in front of me..

I hold my breath..

For a moment, my heart stops beating..

My heart can hear you, you say..

My heart knows..

You place your hand on my heart,

You touched my heart..

You touched my soul..

You touched me..

And I can never forget that..

But you can..

and you already did..


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I will post the story whenever i'm free..
Im sorry walla.. adry maleetaw min the random posts..

My say on the shared story..

This is dedicated to sara for being brave and sharing her story..
This is my advice to you..
Simply.. Follow your heart..


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From what I read, I don't think that a7mad is the one your heart is set upon. I see Fahad being the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now, whether you should pursue him or not, no you shouldn't. Fate will bring you together, and your love will blossom in the right way. If you ever do see him, maybe you should let him know that you do love him. Not directly, just try to get the message across subtly, 3ashan yadry ina you still want him to be part of your life. Give him the green light, but the rest is up to him.

If he did hurt you, forgive and forget. You are hurting yourself more by choosing not to forgive him. Everything can be fixed. If he cut right through your heart, it can be stitched again. Scars define us as human beings, and they make us more beautiful and real.

Whether you end up marrying him or not, w inshallah you will, be sure that your husband is the one for you. You will love him more than you loved anyone else, w after all your years together you will look back and think that you didn't love anyone else. You had feelings for people before, but your feelings for your husband will be surely different.

Should you tell your husband about the people you used to love? No, you shouldn't, and that is my alterable opinion. I haven't thought about this point thoroughly, but I think if I was in your place, I would leave that detail out of our conversation. If you were asked, you tell the truth of course. But otherwise, you don't need to bring the subject up.

Final Note: I am a firm believer in love. You will be united with your loved one, even if you didn't expect to spend the rest of your life with this person. If it's meant to be, then it will be.


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Hope this helped..

Shared Story

Hello :)
So below is someone's story..
she would like to share it with you and just let it all out. .
please offer advice if you have any..
Otherwise.. it just helps to talk to someone who doesn't know you..
So i Guess this can be considered as part of the healing process..

*Names have been changed..

_________________________________








i guess today was the day i decided to let go of it all!
I wonder when did I first learn to love?
At the age of 13 I made that decision to commit…
Not to any one, but a member of the royal family…was I that materialistic from a young age??!! Did the watches he gave me blind my eyes…was I charmed with his smile, did his light tan really make me love him??!!
But based on what did I think I’m in love…the smile I felt forming across my check bones, or the heartbeats I felt pumping in my chest?? Or was I simply trying to making every girl jealous by putting my hands on the new item that dropped in school??!!
I guess a7mad was overwhelmed with my beauty himself, I myself came from a high class well known family..i knew the standers I was expected to end up with and thus I aimed for.
You may say I’m the type of girl that get’s what she wants… I put my eyes on something, I work on getting it and yes you guessed it right I actually do get it…and like all of you, as soon as I get it I feel like I don’t need it anymore…
Stuff moved fast and the next thing you know, I had my first boyfriend…he’s just a year older than me..14 at the time…
We were the young sweet hearts….my friends would gather around us and smile at the image of us sitting next to each other…you’d hear one call out: ‘you’ll end up having gorgeous babies.’
After 2 weeks of passion, I was forced to leave a7mad…since my sister found out…she had no chose but to tell my mother…everyone at school was talking about us!
So we broke up…I guess that’s when I realized I really liked him…
No..the story doesn’t end here…it goes on…but not with Nasser…
I felt really lonely at this stage of my life, that’s when my friends grew closer to me…
But that’s when the unexpected happened….my friends ex-boyfriend claims he’s into me…
He’s no more than a brother…
We grew closer as we talked, he paid attention to what I said, he listened and respected me…he himself comes from a well known family.
I started to like him…I admit…
As I grew older I knew whats wrong and whats right, whats acceptable in our society and whats not, that’s when I backed out….
Long story short..i guess my so called friend, the hand that pulled me from the dead is the same that wants to spend his life with me!
I was shocked..but I left everything as it is and moved on…
After 5 years…this same person comes back..holding the same exact feeling for me..
But now is it love??
Im much grown, my brain can digest this all.
I know for a fact a friend of mine holds feelings for him…but she hurt me once…was I the kind of person to hurt her back?!
I sit with myself, and yes I saw a future for both of us…a possibility maybe
Until..he thought he knew me well…
That’s when I said goodbye…
Are those two men I know worth me?? I don’t think so..a7mad..oh my I guess bumping into you now will just decide if there was ever love…I admit I hate my self for thinking I loved you..you where a crush..nothing but that….why did I ruin my past with you…how can I ever stand in front of my husband and say yes I did have a boyfriend…or should I lie….everything is different now….
But you fahad…you knew so much….you knew about a7mad….you still took me as I am…but to use me to show yourself how much of a man you are then your wrong….im worth so much as I know it…I stood with my head high on graduation night, I looked in your fathers eyes thinking ill be part of your life one day…but sadly my fairy tale got shattered….
If I was to ask you something now I’d just ask if you really loved me?? was I really gonna be the mother of your children??
To be honest you’re the only man I felt warm as I talked to…you made me smile and feel upset…but hell yes you hurt me, you said what no one else had said…so as much as you wanted me to be yours I wanna make you stay away…
Ive always been know for being a strong person but I guess when I see you, I’ll know if what I did is the right thing or not..
Thankyou for reading…I feel so much better now, and knowing that all your readers might read this makes me smile…
I guess you were right opening up is what I really needed…am I alone?? No im not…ive got my family…and that’s enough..and you and your readers are for sure part of it.
Thankyou again
sara..


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Inshallah I will post soon..

My fairytale..

Hello again :)
So I received emails from some people.. asking about my own love story..
So I decided to write this post,
and of course, since I am not that discrete, people are starting to 'discover' my identity ;p
So i decided to clear things up :)
Ya3ny im letting you, my lovely readers, in..


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My story..

a bit complicated,

yet very typical..

girl loves boy.. not sure if love is the word though..

Sometimes I feel like it's an understatement..

Boy (or man in my case since he is older - and let us just keep it at that) does not know about girl..

Maybe he does, but he's choosing to ignore?

I mean come on, sometimes I feel like "In love" is practically written on my forehead or something..

Or maybe he wants to do something about it but is waiting for the right time?

But then again, I think that's just my mind playing games..

Anyways..

So their paths cross sometimes..

Is it fate?

Or is he just trying to torture her?

Or is she over-analyzing everything to do with him?

All of the above maybe?

Who knows..

So she lives for the hope that she will see him..

She wakes up wishing that he will pass by today..

She fears losing him..

losing the hope for a future together..

They have nothing..

no history together..

a clean record when it comes to each other..

But in her heart.. he is all there is to her past and her future..

She loves him?

Again, is an understatement..

Does he?

Who knows..

Fine.. no he doesn't ..

but then again, he might..

Is it going to work out?

That is for all of us to find out..

Let us just hope that she finds the strength to wait patiently..

the power to watch silently..

and the heart to love secretly..



______________________________


So my dear readers.. what I write..
is a figment of my imagination, and I did mention this earlier..
it might be based on a glance, a word (not directed to me even), or simply from all the feelings that I have inside of me..

I know that some of you were thinking its a long, never-ending love story..

bas inshallah I am hoping that someday it will turn into one..
and we will love happily ever after :)

Feel free to share your stories too..

and if you want me to post about your story, then email it to me
shushuxd@gmail.com

and I will do just that!

Take care ;)

Tonight..

Hello :)
madry shfeeny I'm posting a lot these days even though im really busy ;p
I guess I just have a lot of feelings bottled up inside of me..
Some are too sacred for me to share..
But some manage to escape the restrictions I have put for them..
I will leave you with the post..


___________________________________







I beg you to come tonight..

Let us hold hands under the glowing moon..

Let us count the scattered stars..

Let us name all the trees..

Let us call out for the migrating birds..

Let us play with the wet sand..

Let us fight the cold ocean waves..

Let us fall on our backs..

Let us laugh at our silliness..

Let us pretend we're kings and queens..

Let us rule the world together..

Let us be the best of friends..

Let us be lovers..

Let us love and be loved..

Let us hug one time only..

Let us look into each other's eyes..

Let us fall asleep in each other's arms..

Let our innocent love bloom..

Come and visit me in my dreams once more..

I beg you to come tonight..



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Hope u liked it..
I will post a part for the story soon inshallah!! :)

Meant to Be (Part 41)

Hiii :)
The part is finally written ;p
w why is the blogger world sleeeeeeping??!

This one is dedicated to:
Dont.Dwell, bint almeharir, madliar, A, and hano.Oshi


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----- M7ammad


Shai5a decided that she didn't want to go shopping anymore. It was the weekend so we had family gathering to attend, and so we were somewhat busy.

Ti7ajibat Shai5a on Saturday, a day before university.

"You look gorgeous.." I told her, kissing her forehead.

"La tjamilny.." She pouted.

"Walla 9ij you look beautiful.." I tried encouraging her, as I pushed her through the door.

"M7ammad.. I don't look nice.. please I don't want people to see me like this.." She said, trying to get back in.

"Yummaaaaaaa.. Shai5a ti7ajibat.. ta3alaw shoofoohaaaa!!" I screamed.

"M7ammaaaad!!" She hid her face.

We were interrupted by the camera flashes and screams of children. Everyone was excited and hyper, especially the little children because they loved her so much.

After all the congratulations and endless chitchats, we headed to our room at night.

"I really don't feel like going to uni tomorrow.." She complained after we were tucked in bed.

"You're going to love it.. don't worry.." I assured her.

"Bas my friends kilhum ra7aw engineering w one of them medicine w il bajee are studying abroad.. ya3ny no one is with me in English Lit.." She complained.

"Don't worry.. you'll do fine.." I laughed.

She sighed, worriedly.

"Good night.." I told her, smoothing her hair.

"Sweet Dreams.." She replied, smiling.

The next day was spent trying to calm Shai5a's nerves before she goes to university; I was going to drop her off before I go to work. So I spent all the way comforting her, even though she was not really paying attention to me, which meant she wasn't paying attention to the road. She was up for a surprise of course, and she was clueless.

I got to the university, opened the car's door, and walked her to the door.

"M7ammad.. hathy moo il jam3a!!" She said after a while of starring at the building.

"Imbala.. this is where you are going to be studying for the next 7 years.." I told her.

"M7ammad!!! Hathy kuliyat il 6ib!" She replied, dumbfounded.

"I know.. yalla you don't want to be late for your first lecture!" I laughed at her expression.

"Bas.." She trailed off, still shocked.

"Look.. I know that it's your dream to be a doctor, you told me so, and I asked my sisters more about it and all of them said so.. Therefore, I went to your father and told him that I want you to be a doctor so that we can understand each other more.. which is of course BS because we don't really need that.. anyways.. so he didn't mind.. fa sa7abt awragech min english literature, and now you are officially a medical student.." I explained.

"No way!" She said wide-eyed.

"Shai5a!! Yalla you're going to be late!!" I told her, pushing her inside.

"Umbaaaay!!" She said, finally realizing what was happening.

"Di5lay.." I laughed as I pointed to the door.

"Oh my god M7ammad.." She hugged me tightly.

I kissed her forehead, smiling, and pointed at the door when she let go of me.

"Ok.." She breathed, as she pushed the door and entered.

I smiled to myself, knowing that I did the right thing, and went to work, making a mental note to pick her up on time.



----- Shai5a


The time was going by really fast, and thankfully, I saw a couple of familiar faces so we walked together for the rest of the day. The professors seemed ok, and were just introduced to the program and the course outline.

It was time to leave so I said good-bye to my friends, and took some books and handouts that were handed out to us, and went outside looking for him.

He waved, as he got out of the car and took my books from me.

"La2.. 3adee ana asheelhum!" I told him.

"I got it!!" He said, carrying them, and putting them in the trunk.

I held his hand and excitedly chatted about my day, while he played with my fingers and listened intently.

"Ya3ny are you happy now?" He asked.

"More than happy.. ecstatic.. walla M7ammad you have no idea how grateful I am to you.. I love you.." I blabbered, but when I realized what I just said, I stopped and placed my hand on my mouth shutting it.

"Wayed wala shwaya?" He asked, teasing me.

I remained quiet, dumbfounded by how fast things were progressing.

"I love you too, you know.." He said, kissing my pinky.

The rest of the ride was silent of course, with my insides all churning and my heart basically running marathons.



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Hope you enjoyed :)

Getting Over you..

Helloo..
I know I haven't been posting a lot..
bas school started and im extremely busy..
inshallah I will post very soon..

This one is for Him..

___________________________________








I was trying to get over you..

but as usual you decided to interfere just before I end my anguish..

Just before I decide to forget about my long painful nights, you decide to show up..

You end my misery for a day,

but you end up opening up all the wounds..

today you are here, carefully mending them..

but tomorrow you aren't,

and I am left alone..

tired,

depressed,

confused,

and in pain,

waiting for you to come back..

because you are my doctor..

you are my savoir..

you have the magic spell to cure me ..

you can cast it..

and yet you won't..

you prefer to leave me hanging..

you prefer to leave me suffering..

you prefer knowing that I will always be in need for you..

I will always be waiting for you..

I will always love you..

But you forgot to consider that I am in deep pain..

Really deep pain..

Waiting for your love..

Waiting for you to caress me ..

waiting for your tender touch..

I love you, I would repeat every night..

with no answer..


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Take Care :)

A glimpse into the Future..

Hellooooooo ;)
3eedkum Mbarak.. w sorry ina its late ;p
w I hope all of you are enjoying eid more than i am ;p

This post is "a glimpse into the future" of shaikha and m7ammad...

I felt like writing bas i dont have time for a whole post..

Dedicated to H..

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"Shaikha.." He called in a desperate voice.

"Shfeek?" I replied, mi5tar3a.

"aby abooooos!!" He screamed from behind the bathroom door.

"Moo min 9ijik M7ammad!" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Imbala min 9ijy.. yalla 6il3ay" He insisted.

"many 6al3a.." I said stubbornly.

"Shayoo5.. bala dala3.. walla aby aboos!!" He replied.

"No.." I stated.

"Tara walla akser il bab!!" He screamed crazily.

"M7ammad.. la t9eer maynoon! Il yahal tawhum naymeen tara!!" I exclaimed, opening the bathroom door.

"Ta3alaaaaaay.." He said with a goofy smile, as he pulled me towards him.

"Inzain.. one minute.. ilnas ma yboosoon 3ala 6ool.. they hug awal.. ba3dain.." I told him, trying to get away.

"Ok.. here you go.." He replied instantly.

He took both of my hands into his, and put them behind him, leaving them hanging on his waist. He pulled me even closer to him, and enclosed my body with his strong arms. He rubbed my back gently, making want to melt right there. Isn't this more romantic than a kiss, I thought to myself, sighing.

My answer was given to me almost automatically, as if he read my mind. Our lips met in the most perfect gesture, making me lose my breath right away. Nothing can beat this, the kiss screamed.


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Hope you like it! ;)